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This topic contains 165 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by  Silver Shadow 1 day, 6 hours ago.

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  • #96025

    Leon Fleming
    @w-o-holmes

    Your welcome, @tashah-claymore. I’ll be glad to help with anything.

    As with “universe” I would probably not mean multiple galaxies or even galaxies at all. I’ve got to make them different, you know? Maybe something like…whoa, I just realized that in making a fictional world it has to be 100% different from Earth and the Milky Way, right? So basically that means changing the entire reality. Maybe the world is all there is.

    Or maybe I’m over-exaggerating and just need to keep my line of sight limited. I mean, when am I ever going to find the time to do all That? I think I’ll just go with what I got and cheat a little…

    I haven’t written a complete draft of a novel yet, no. But I definitely hope to. I’ve attempted it at numerous occasions but they all failed. These were all before my Plan. To create the languages first, then create the world for them.

    I am writing a short story situated within this world though, and if you want a tid-bit-that-is-to-be-announced-as-in-it-is-a-stand-in-title-for-now then here it is: The title of one of the worlds is Anadyre (ana-d-ie-er). The stress is on the ‘ana’ as in ANA-dyre. But that may change as the time goes by.

    You have multiple different fictional worlds? That are completely unrelated to each other? Now that is something. I never really thought of doing that. It was all just this one thing.

    By the way this is the general ‘construction’ of my ‘galaxy’; there are as of now four worlds, two flatish and two spherical. The first of both of these failed and the seconds were the attempts by the Eda (let’s just call them the ones using things to mold these planets together and blah, blah, blah) to improve on them where they previously failed. The first are now referred to as the Uredankh (spherical) and for now the Ice planet (the first of the flat planets). There is still much to be done here but I’m still working on that. I have a rough idea of the histories of the first two in my head and am in need of completing those things.

    Yes, I’ve got to agree with you on the languages. Of the ones you stated, Swedish would be my favourite. That’s not because I’m mostly Scandinavian as well as other European blood-types, but also it was the one that interested me the most.

    Indeed, the guitar. I’m definitely still working on that, but it’s coming out better than I originally thought.

    Another thought would be nationalities or races in the worlds. I don’t know where you are on those but I’m still working on those. I’ve got a few other ideas that I need to hash out and decide whether to keep them or not. Because if I do, that’s another species to construct and make histories of. But, that’s what I love doing.

    Here’s a little snippet on one of my languages. Right now it is one of the languages that the now-formed Gnomes had taken and somewhat modified to further their setting and ideas. It was an originally ceased language of the Dwarves that they had dropped. When the Gnomes had formed by the connecting of two races they took this from the old manuscripts of the Dwarves and as said above, modified it to their tastes. As of now, it’s called the Teltharic language. I’m working on a ‘map’, if you will, that shows how the letters are related for that will have much to do with the meaning of the words. Now, I must tell you what not to picture when I refer to “Gnome”. They are not little creatures with pointy beards and hats that people put in their gardens. They are a sort of mix of elvish and dwarvish bloods. That gets down into further stuff and mythologies and things like that that may be interesting but you’ll find that out in my book if I ever come out with it.

    P.S. The poetry was an attempt of mine to represent how I began in the processes of writing a poem and my description of how I write poetry. It’s not finished yet, though.

    #96030

    Silver Shadow
    @tashah-claymore

    @w-o-holmes your universe/galaxy is really cool!  And I love the names.  I’m a sucker for cool/fantasy/unique names lol.

    I’ve been working on the first draft of Warriors Unite since I was 11 or 12.  That’s the first story idea I ever had.  It has gone through MAJOR changes since then!  But that makes sense because now I have more life experience and knowledge about a good story.  My original manuscript (which is still just a few chapters) is . . . painful to read.  But I’m pretty sure I’m happy with how it is now.  I just have to finish it!

    Each story of mine is in a different world, and I have quite a few ideas!  Warriors Unite is set on the planet Unai on the country/continent Morgith.  I suppose some of my stories are all set on Earth, but it’s a different fantasy twist for each one.

    Yeah, Swedish is really cool.  I have a lot of German blood, which is why that’s one of my favorite languages.

    For Races in the worlds I usually create those in world building.  Warriors Unite has 5 Races: Men, Elves, Kátz (humanoid cats), Trolls (not mindless like in Tolkien’s world), and Intons (very similar to the Na’vi in Avatar).  Most of my other stories have various Races as well, or at least different types (if that’s the correct word) of humans, like werewolves and berserkers and such.  All my stories (except one) with werewolves and things like that are set on a fantasy version of Earth.  I don’t have histories for all the Races yet, and Warriors Unite is the only story where I’ve started to.

    I like the snippet on your language!  The history of the language is great, and I’d imagine it’s also pretty important.  The Gnomes sound really cool too!  The cross between Elves and Dwarves is neat.  And again, the name of the language is great!

    P.S. That’s awesome!  I think you should definitely finish it!

    "One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching." -Gerard Way

    #96033

    Leon Fleming
    @w-o-holmes

    @tashah-claymore thanks! I love fantasy names too, though I prefer the ones that are more expanding-like sounding. Like your’s. You know what I mean by expanding-like sounding? Like Tolkien’s Mordor. It sounds like what it is. That’s a key thing in one of my elvish languages called Enorren (ay-NOR-ren). I call it, the onomatopoeiaic language, because for each thing/object, I try to come up with a word that kind of summarizes it in a completed sense so that when I read it or think about it, I get the general feeling of what it is. You know what I mean?

    I understand what you mean by first manuscripts. You should have seen mine. It was terrible. You know how I said it was on a fictional world and all that? Well guess what? The main character’s name in my first draft was James Nixon. (cringing) Terrible, huh? He had then changed from that to Gnashek to Nashek to Zimran Agamemnon to Eraseaus. Then I deleted him. That was probably two to three years ago and now that whole setting is no more and so is that character.

    Yeah, mine has undergone serious fazes and changes too. I originally had just one world, then the others developed for different things. The second flat world actually came when I (14) began to “write” a book with my younger brother (8). That didn’t work out as you can probably imagine and that world kept changing and formulating into what it has become.

    That’s nice, I love your names! …is Unai like this: you-NIE  ? I really like Morgith! Sounds great!

    Cool, I’ve German blood as well…not to mention, Finnish, Swedish, Danish, Dutch, (I think) Polish, Austrian, German, English, Welsh, Irish, Scottish, and various others. Unfortunately, I’m don’t have any French blood in me.

    Oh yes, you have Trolls that think properly? I may have something similar – civilized trolls, as I like to call them. I haven’t worked a lot with them practically at all but there have been a few things done. What with weapons and the first ideas for a language. Have you read the Eragon series? The author put in these things called werecats or something like that, interesting idea. They worked out fine for the story and were really interesting with the way they interacted with the characters. Yeah, I’m still working on histories for them all. At the moment I’ve got elves, dwarves, men, gnomes, kiriahk, graeths, trolls, and flae. Some of these might change of course.

    #96034

    Leon Fleming
    @w-o-holmes

    Thanks! I will!

    #96038

    Silver Shadow
    @tashah-claymore

    @w-o-holmes I also like names with meaning.  And like you said, words that summarize the thing completely.  Sometimes my character names have a specific meaning regarding who they are or their role in the story.

    Yeah, first manuscripts are always terrible!  My main character in Warriors Unite has had her name changed several times.  First she was Mintasha, then Sivakumar, and now she’s Siventhia.  I think Siventhia is good, so I don’t think I’ll change it anymore.  I have completely deleted characters before, though.  Some just aren’t meant to be.  Either I’ll delete them or I’ll completely change them so that they’re not even remotely the same as they were before.

    I’m glad you like my names!  Unai is pronounced like OO-nai.

    My Trolls are quite civilized, actually.  But they don’t really like being bothered at all, so most people in the other Races think that they’re just cruel brutes.  I also like to have weapons that are specific to each Race.  I haven’t  gotten all of them down yet, but I have some.  I haven’t read the Eragon series, although I feel like I’ve heard of it.  I do have werecats in one of my stories.  Some of the characters are werelions and one of them is a werepanther.  Basically humans that can shapeshift into humanoid versions of lions and panthers respectively.

    Can you explain what the kiriahk, graeths, and flae look like?  They sound really cool.

    "One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching." -Gerard Way

    #96041

    Leon Fleming
    @w-o-holmes

    @tashah-claymore – Yes! I totally agree with you!

    It happens to the best of us, truly.

    Cool! Yes, names and words are a delicate topic. Both Tolkien and Edgar Allan Poe thought so.

    Interesting, of the trolls. There is not much known by outside sources of the trolls in Anadyre and that is why in a poem I wrote not too far back I had a minstrel-like-man end up going there to write lays of them. I may show this sometime, but as of when, I haven’t an idea. It’s about six pages. True. Weapons would take a wholly different role indeed if such creatures as the kiriahk (k-ee-ree-a-hk[the drawing of breath across the back of the throat to produce a hackish sound]) were to use the weapons of the elves. The Eragon series is pretty good though it may seem to drag a bit in some parts. But I liked the way the author portrayed the mythology of each of his races. On the were-things; those are definitely interesting ideas! I was thinking of lions with wings and other things, but those are very cool!

    The kiriahk are sort of larger than manish beasts of black skin and shining silver eyes (as of now). They are generally beasts of terror and have a reputation of destruction. They are feared throughout the lands. The graeths are creatures that come in large packs and are somewhat like spiders in hoards. Though they only have four legs. They have grey skin and usually grey eyes. Their very being is almost ash-like. They usually go on two feet running hunched over and on occasion running on all fours. They are known for their swiftness.

    The flae, on the other hand, are magnificent creatures. Picture an elve with wings. Then add a light that pervades their forms and glows without, stretching its power into the space. The reason for their light is that they are strong points in the blanket of magic. “Magic” is not a thing to be used as if it were separated from itself in Anadyre. Magic or Elethren as the elves call it, is a field sort of like the magnetic field of the earth, but this field pervades too the world. It can be stretched into a strong source (usually by people of the ellen [elethren weavers] who take it into a something like a ring or staff and there they concentrate it. It can be freed or commanded). The flae are beacons of its power and they are the beings where it is in one controlled place and under the control of that place. They are representatives of it and are the strongest concentrations of the Elethren. The flae can be different colours, as with hair or eye colour. Their skin is usually whatever represents them the best. They can be killed and if they are, all the power concentrated in that area is let loose and any living things in the area can be effected by it.

    I forgot to mention that I also have “giants”. These aren’t as unto other giants but are different. This they must be. Besides these, I also have centaurs but they are just a northern myth and their tellings are the sightings of them by other creatures.

     

    #96043

    Silver Shadow
    @tashah-claymore

    @w-o-holmes your Races sound amazing!  I like the contrast between the nightmarish kiriahk and graeths and the angel-like glory of the flae.

    I’d love to read that poem sometime!  It’d take me a bit since it’s six pages, but considering what your other poem was like I’m sure it’s really good!

    There is one Race in Warriors Unite I forgot to mention.  I have goblins.  They’re not a natural Race, but are basically mutilated men who had all their humanity taken away from them.  I’m still figuring out their look, though, because I don’t want them to be the same as Tolkien’s.

    I also love the Elethren in your world!  It’s really cool, and I like how it’s not magic like what people normally think of for a fantasy world.  I like the magnetic field magic.

    Giants and centaurs are neat.

    "One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching." -Gerard Way

    #96045

    Leon Fleming
    @w-o-holmes

    @tashah-claymore – Yeah, thanks!

    The poem may be hard to read because it’s in a songish type format that I half-way made up, but I’ll post it on here for critique if you want.

    Yes! I used to have goblins too, but I took them out because they really weren’t fitting with the feel I wanted in Anadyre.

    Thank you! I tried to make it different because it didn’t want a cliched magic that, “Oh, it’s just magic, blah, blah, blah!” I wanted it to be unique and this, I think, is my own invention.

    With the giants and centaurs I also wanted them to be unique and not like those of Narnia. So they are more of the like of something that would appear in Beren and Luthien. The centaurs, that is. The giants, I’m still working on and I think they may go well with my mythologies, but I’ll be figuring that out later.

    Have you made any maps?

    #96046

    Leon Fleming
    @w-o-holmes

    The Blaethede of the Minstrel

    I, Thesperos of Lunthrus, was sent from the city Ithmar, to sight the wanderings and ideas of the people of Ruorn, chief city of the kingdom of Ar’nourlh. While there, I was partially delayed by a roving band of minstrels and other such peoples who caught me up with the prospect of work for them. Apparently, they thought I was some sort of misshapen mannink, but that, of course, is absurd. Besides this, I set right their minds and they, being apologetic, allowed me the audience of their main performance that night. I somewhat roughly complied.

    They led me to the auditorial seats and there I sat in slight comfort. Then, while waiting for all things to commence, a man walked to the middle of the stage carrying a staggh in his grasp. Then a drum sounded and sent its booming voice throughout the actrium. The crowd then quieted all of a sudden and he slowly began to move the stones. Then he began to sing, softly at first, then rising. This is what I heard, as best I can to represent it:

    When days were old

    and bards were told

    My father, young, was he.

    He plucked the lyre

    and dirges fewer

    For King did he there sing.

    Then one day when the winds did change

    And all had failed in fire

    The King died upon the bed of Khrì.

    there upon the dead King he.

    So then my father,

    told of this,

    Did fall therein afar.

    He, lost of mind,

    and nothing less,

    Was left with not a thrind.

    For overmore, he lost his way

    He left the ways of men,

    And he traveled over unto the elves

    when he dwelt among them all

    within the farther fair Andim.

    So after he had

    there stayed long

    And much was known to him,

    The elves they came

    and knew him more

    For what they let him stay?

    And finally they allowed him

    For songs he sung they liked

    And all that he thence had made for them

    nothing more,

    They knew him for what he truly was.

    Then called upon

    by elven King

    Of noble birth was he.

    He then was told

    to travel far

    Durst not he list’ portend

    The trolls of civil’zations held

    No lays of other lands

    And so, this the reason for his tend,

    left upon

    He was torn between two uncharted lands.

    Then riding forth

    by day, by night

    The hand beheld his sword.

    He left the elves

    and traveled long

    Unto the trollen hord.

    They took him in, not with discord

    Of doubt that he, a man,

    Would ever under a ser’ous mind,

    not unkind,

    Would ever partake with trolls abroad.

    -Then leaving all his plans behind,

    He dwelt with them therein.

    They then complied and so he lied

    That he would befriend them.

    To him they were the ugly brood

    To him they were the swine.

    They smelt to him of earthly blimn

    And so he took them in.

    -Upon this troubled spirit rode

    The thought of magic stone.

    For with them there he they rode

    To stay, protect the stone.

    He then did find

    and bridle all

    The weakening distress.

    He snuck within

    and while the din

    Above had he there wrought.

    He stole the stone and left them there

    To be dismaying find-

    For after they knew his betrayal,

    unsoughten,

    They grew angry for not were they dismayed.

    He then did pass

    and far he fled

    Unto the halls of Drome.

    There dwarves they lived

    so plentiful

    And greedy not become.

    He sold the stone for many things

    And not were all they gold

    He sought that which would then become his

    quench him

    His desire for a purpose there.

    So after this he left

    and came

    Back to the elven gates.

    They brought him in

    and bade him come

    Unto their King for pay.

    The King, he asked for songs written

    Of trolls forevermore,

    And so the man delivered them

    for he

    He had written them while riding home.

    The rise of angry

    mountain trolls,

    They rode for betrayal

    Was thought upon

    as leavened dread

    For those who would dare part

    Their friendships for not easily

    Were all they befriended;

    But when their trust had been acquired

    they would then

    Be willing to die for all and thee.

    For all this with them

    bleating goats

    They set upon the trail.

    And nothing would they find

    and so

    All left was there, ta’assume;

    That man had come from elven places

    Gracious they all knew

    Was that King who sat upon that throne.

    they then thought

    That all would then betray them.

    So now then coming

    to those gates

    Of elven kingdom come,

    The trolls, so angered

    to the least

    And they would before tell

    That so eventually met

    They rammed upon the gate

    The unknowing of likely circumstance

    that before

    The gates they would be there torn down.

    Now beckoned forth

    the King did come

    To understand their plee.

    The King did question them

    their anger,

    For what did they seek?

    These things they came together for

    A purpose and that sleek

    For nothing would all they dare to say

    left that day,

    The trolls would forever be dismayed.

    They told him of the

    betrayer

    And how he had been meek.

    The King his anger

    grew and grew

    Until all would burst forth.

    He raged and then he threw the ground

    The man to be dismayed

    For to all in that sacred place did know

    the price

    Laid upon the head of any wretched soul.

    So after all this had become

    The trolls they took him home.

    They beat and ransacked him afar

    And questioned were he bold?

    He looked up into their eyes then

    And took them for regret

    He said that they would then deserve

    An apology broad.

    He spoke and said all that is here

    These things now laid upon:

    “You took me into your confidence

    And led me to a nod.

    And all I gave for your return

    Was betrayal abroad.”

    Then after all this had took place

    Between those rough-hewn walls,

    The trolls demanded precious stone

    For all eternity.

    But now and on

    to their dismay

    He looked at them and said:

    “My thoughts, not now

    will deceive me

    For you are strong and fierce.

    I would not tell you

    for my life

    Where I had hid that stone.

    For if I did

    then there a price

    Be on my head a bane.

    You, now, I see

    are at a loss

    At what to do with me.

    But, now, you see

    I may here help

    For if you set me free,

    Then I would go and back I steal

    That wretched stone, reposed

    For then all would be again renewed

    between us,

    And so, debts shall finally be paid.”

    They in their angought(angered thought)

    pondered this

    And thought that they would say

    The things that flew

    about their minds

    For they were deep and thick.

    So with this all they sighed and said

    That all should be as known,

    But with everything that he had said, they would

    let him go,

    And not alone but with the Leccondrë.

    He trembled deep down

    at these words

    For dark they were to him.

    The Leccondrë

    was the troll’s beast

    And loose it they could say.

    For many tales had been told

    Of reckoning with it;

    It was not a thing to be tampered with

    beat a whip,

    Altogether it was not so unlikely.

    Then finally, abroad

    they took

    To flight were they then made.

    For the Leccondrë

    would never sate

    Itself upon the land.

    And now directing by the head

    The minstrel once was he

    Unto the lands between them there

    elve and troll,

    The fire cast and wrought of pearls dark.

    But this had naught

    to sway the beast

    For his were scales black,

    They gleamed with light

    from lands beneath

    And teeth they dripped with foam.

    Then down they set

    and

    snuck within

    Those hullede halls of stone

    For here lay the kingdom of the dwarves

    iron laid,

    For here, they would tamper with the stone.

    Then through the gates

    of fired pearl

    That wrung of anviled make.

    The fire beat

    upon them down

    And still they on went on.

    For there were they so very lost

    Within those skillful made

    Halls of stone, that the dwarves had carven strung

    with the blade

    The skill that the dwarves had there portrayed.

    Then finally

    they found the nest

    Of spiders weaving silk.

    And at the heart

    the pearly crest

    Of stone did show above.

    Then fire made the Leccondrë

    And lit the spinning silk,

    The spiders, then leaped upon him, sprung

    and the man

    There he snuck in and took the stone of Khold.

    They then escaped

    that muddled mass

    And moved then back to leave.

    But dwarve fine saw them

    creeping slow

    And gave a warning cry.

    So fiercely from all sides drawn in

    The dwarves and saw they stone

    That then they so took unto the sky.

    Fly hard and long

    for life did they

    And cautioned by the wind.

    It led them think

    the dwarves would follow

    In their startled wake.

    But, still, they flew far on and on

    Until they reached the hoard

    Whereupon they renounced them claim to stay

    for they saw,

    The armies of dwarven kingdom come.

    But then the dwarves

    knew naught of this

    And then attacked the trolls.

    And battles raged

    far past the days

    That all had they then come.

    And over time both man and beast

    Had grown to like the other

    And fly away did they ever roam

    they did roam,

    For the rest of their long days they did roam.

    He finished and gave a courteous bow before the stunned and startled crowd. Then he walked off the stage and all had ended.

    #96047

    Leon Fleming
    @w-o-holmes

    It is a little long, but if you sing it to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen it should go fine. I’m going to attempt to do a rewrite with more of the form of the first poem I showed on here. More of a narrative free-verse. Because I don’t think people will be able to really pick this up.

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by  Leon Fleming.
    #96051

    Silver Shadow
    @tashah-claymore

    @w-o-holmes your poem is amazing!  It was a little confusing when I was just reading it, but when I sang it to the tune of <i>God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen</i> it was awesome!  I really like it!

    From what you’ve told me about your world, I agree that goblins don’t really fit in it.  But that’s fine since you already have other Races similar.  Your Races are better than goblins anyway, at least for Anadyre.

    I think your magic is definitely your own invention!  It’s really cool, too.

    I haven’t actually read Beren and Luthien yet, but I need to.  So I don’t know exactly what to picture, if that makes sense.

    I have sort of made a map for Warriors Unite.  But I think I’ve switched up Races and such since then, so I’ll need a new map anyway.  I used to have more Races in Warriors Unite, but I cut back because I couldn’t really include all of them without being confusing or excessive.  I do have a map of a different story, though.  It’s not a full map, just the main borders and terrain and bodies of water.  I don’t have any town/city locations or anything like that yet.  What about you?  Do you have a map for Anadyre?

    "One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching." -Gerard Way

    #96057

    Leon Fleming
    @w-o-holmes

    @tashah-claymore – Thanks!

    True, and thank you again.

    Why, thanks!

    That’s okay. I’ve only read the prose version of Beren and Luthien in the Silmarillion (by Tolkien), but I do have the poetic form. I’m at the beginning of the beginnings of reading it.

    Cool! and yes, I do. It’s a full world-map and there are different versions so I don’t have all the landmarks written there but I’m still working.  I hope in the future to complete a thorough and detailed final version of a more up-close map. Or rather, multiple maps that make up the larger. That’s of Anadyre. For the second of the flat worlds (so far titled Athos) I have a rough outline of the land and some islands, but that’s about it.

    What paper did you write your’s on? I did mine on butcher-paper. It’s great because I can take of large pieces of paper for the maps. I used to do it with regular-sized paper taped together, which turned out fine, but this is much better.

    #96064

    Silver Shadow
    @tashah-claymore

    @w-o-holmes you’re welcome!

    I started reading the Silmarillion but it’s super complex, so I’m not even close to finishing it yet.

    That’s awesome you have maps!  Having multiple maps like Tolkien did would be a good idea.  I think it’d be good to have a map that shows it all from a distance and then several other close-up maps showing various locations like countries and what-not.  I need to get a better map for Warriors Unite, and also maps for my other stories.  Even those on Earth should probably have maps.

    The map that I have the layout of the countries/terrain I drew in my notebook.  So there are, of course, the lines through it.  But I bought a pad of really big watercolor paper sheets, so the plan is to do the final versions of my maps on there.  I might even do multiple mediums with the maps.  Watercolor and acrylic paint would probably be really good.  And brush markers.  I don’t know exactly yet, but I’ll figure it out!

    "One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching." -Gerard Way

    #96067

    Leon Fleming
    @w-o-holmes

    @tashah-claymore – Hey, I get what you mean about the Silmarillion; I started reading it about two years ago and it didn’t really catch, but it might later.

    Yeah, I only used pen with my maps, plus my main idea for them was just to get it all down so I would have a general idea of where I was in the world and all that, but…cool! I’ve looked into designing maps and calligraphy with maps and that was pretty cool, what with different colours and lines for borders and such. But, I’ve never been that artsy, especially with painting. I call my water-colour paintings Garbage Art. Pretty fitting title, I might add. I’m more inclined with drawing with pencils. It comes out much better.

    #96069

    Leon Fleming
    @w-o-holmes

    @tashah-claymore, are you in any guilds?

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