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I LOVE this!! ❤❤❤ Being a writer of lyrical poetry, this poem has a lot of musical ‘feel’, if you will. It has some irregularity in the ryhtmn but that only lends to the ‘brokeness’ if the poem.
I don’t think I have any other criticisms!! Good job👍
Psalm 119:11
Your word I have hidden in my heart,
That I might not sin against You.Here is a poem I wrote yesterday. 🙂 @evelyn @k-a-grey @libby @h-jones
sleepy
the blankets are
heavy on my chest
so heavy
heat fuzzes over me
the monochrome
with streaks of color
at the lines
fast-forward
fast forward
at the forefront
of my mind
but the round browns overwhelm,
puddling through the cracks
the warmth strums
through my muscles
my mind is in
a lilac mood
if my brain was busier
it would notice the galaxies
behind my eyes
but my body is
immoveable,
soft,
vulnerable,
in the warm
blackness
Spreading God's love until I can see seven billion smiles. 🙂 https://sevenbillionsmiles.home.blog
@emma-starr Lovely my friend. I adore the image of the galaxies stored behind eyes. <3
@evelyn Thank you!! That’s one of my favorite images too. :)))
Spreading God's love until I can see seven billion smiles. 🙂 https://sevenbillionsmiles.home.blog
We alone did face
The night within.
A lonely shroud,
Like an empty dream.
A foreboding shadow
Of flowered, unseen truth
Echoes with cold & silent fear
And screams like our bitter sky.
Broken lightning,
But whispered thunder
Dread between unknown confusion,
Which murmurs through young power.
i could've gone outside to take a walk, but i know that i wouldn't've come back
@e_elaine_soup5 Cool poem! 🙂 I especially like the images in the last stanza. “Broken lightning” and “whispered thunder” = perfection.
For feedback… “We alone did face” seems a little awkward to me, unless you’re trying for an old English type of vibe. “We faced the dark alone” is a lot easier to read/follow.
Spreading God's love until I can see seven billion smiles. 🙂 https://sevenbillionsmiles.home.blog
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