October 15, 2019 at 11:03 pm #98998Knowledgeful Butterfly@e_elaine_soup5
To mourn empty people,
Of the earth,
Who did cry.
So silent is the murmur,
To whisper up at Darkness
In the cover of melancholy.
I hate to ask this of a thread i’m barely on, but can you guys dissect this. I kinda what to know if you get what i mean
- This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Knowledgeful Butterfly.
i could've gone outside to take a walk, but i know that i wouldn't've come backOctober 18, 2019 at 10:46 pm #99136overcomer@overcomer
I just wrote this (literally) on an impulse. I haven’t edited it much yet. I just felt like sharing it. It doesn’t have a name.
Also, I like your poem, @k-a-grey . 🙂
“I’m tired”, I roll over and say
I drop my pen and leave it to lay
Gathering dust, I used to play
With words, now my fingers rust
I used to write, but now I must
My heart is filled with decay
Yet, I have a duty to pay
My words cannot go away
I must write and make them stay
So I pray
My heart will be okay
In the face of doubts’ array
My pen will valiantly face the fray
And with enough courage, I may
Summon forth a victoryNovember 20, 2019 at 3:11 am #101620Libby@libby
Hullo 🙂 It’s been so long since I’ve dropped in here, but I just finished a short little piece of poetry and decided I’d stop by. It’s based off of Richard Wilbur’s “The Boy at the Window.”
Two Lonely Souls
The forlorn child looks up with a smile
Each time the maple leaves sway with the breeze,
Dancing like maidens of scarlet and gold
For the girl at the window who watches the trees,
Seeking escape from a sorrowful world.
Watching the brilliant frocks each leaf wears
Tremble with laughter in the rustling wind,
The sad little girl has forgotten her cares.
The maple boughs wave gaily to her,
Greeting in style the lonely little girl.
Noting how weary she looks, the leaves
Skip blithely about and merrily twirl,
Attempting to please their audience of one,
The only creature that still comes to see
The long-forgotten tree. Together they make
Two lonely souls in glad company.
"Young people, you must pray, for your passions are strong and your wisdom is little."C.H.SpurgeonNovember 20, 2019 at 12:18 pm #101632Dakota@dakota
@libby This is really pretty!! 🙂 I like it!
Your word I have hidden in my heart,
That I might not sin against You.November 20, 2019 at 2:55 pm #101645
Here’s one of mine, that I wrote today, without a chance to edit it, because I hope people on here can help me, I’m not the best at editing poems. It’s kinda long, but here it is.
Made of stone,
A ruined home,
Wreckage of couches,
Sheet covered chairs,
“Was joy treasured,
And love cherished?”
“Why have the people perished?”
“The happiness is gone,
And this beautiful home,
Empty, and ruined,
Left all alone,”
“How can such a beautiful home,
Filled with happiness,
Be left to die,
The people turned to ashes?”
“How could this monument,
Of beauty and joy,
Be broken and ruined,
Like an unwanted toy?”
I close my eyes,
Listening for sounds of life,
Whispers of ghosts, fill my head,
Telling me of their strife,
Voices and screams,
That’s what I heard,
<i>Explainable</i> by word,
Fear settled into this house,
Leaving it’s stain,
Marking this house,
A place of pain,
In my head, a new voice spoke,
“No light shall shine in here,
No happiness, no hope,
It shall be a place of fear.”
This is the edited version of the unedited version, I took out a bunch of lines that I felt unnecessary, and added a few, please, tell me what you guys think!
“Tears sparkle like fallen stars, the world at our fingertips, We didn’t know, It wasn't happiness.November 21, 2019 at 9:21 am #101700
@libby Why helloo, friend! Thank you for waking up this sleepy thread. (:
I like your poem! I had to look up Richard Wilbur’s “The Boy at the Window.” The idea of comparing two different views like that is very intriguing. I think I shall have to try it sometime.
@urwen-starial Wow, such a very visual poem. You have some good choices of words in there!November 22, 2019 at 1:16 pm #101809
@evelyn, thanks, I started working on a new one this morning, about one of my characters, Kenem Lunen. It’s really confusing unless the storyline is explained, so I’m not going to post it on here right now, maybe in a little while once I go through it a little.
“Tears sparkle like fallen stars, the world at our fingertips, We didn’t know, It wasn't happiness.November 24, 2019 at 3:35 pm #101951
@urwen-starial Oh neat! I’ve only written a poem about/for one of my characters once. Do you do it often?November 26, 2019 at 9:45 am #102020
@evelyn, sometimes, I just find it hard to always find good rhymes to describe my character, so not all the time. It’s fun, but hard to make out good ones.
“Tears sparkle like fallen stars, the world at our fingertips, We didn’t know, It wasn't happiness.November 26, 2019 at 11:39 am #102025December 4, 2019 at 2:18 pm #102338Candide@candide
Hello! This one is a english-spanish poem. Written a couple weeks ago.
Does it works? Enjoy and critique.
I’ll be weak beforme my God
The one whose praise is worth
I’ll be weak before my God
The one who made me of His own
I may live in a huge desert
One He personally knows
Help this pouring soul!
Yo lo sé.
Esta és una lengua estrangera
Quisiera este dolor también lo sea.December 5, 2019 at 10:25 am #102370December 20, 2019 at 10:58 pm #103025Joseph Lin@joseph_darkgrate
Full on Stars — from a Cosmonaut’s journal
When I was a child,
I ate dust.
Face upon the floor,
I saw nothing.
Hours would go by,
I couldn’t get up
Far from home
It stayed the same.
I found myself
In heavy shadow,
My mind goes back,
I see no sky,
I have no eyes.
The world remains dark,
I fall asleep,
I rise again
On my knees.
I look up
Before the push.
Marrying the sky.
Full on Stars,
They beckon me
To travel far.
Thoughts on my nonsense?
Facts Don't Care About Your FeelingsJanuary 27, 2020 at 3:41 pm #104568Emma Huckabee (Emma Starr)@emma-starr
@joseph_darkgrate I LOVE THAT POEM. The images are perfecttttt. Well done.
Do you blog and post your poems?
Spreading God's love until I can see seven billion smiles. 🙂 https://sevenbillionsmiles.home.blogFebruary 11, 2020 at 10:36 am #105755
I love it, very good, *has fake coughing fit to hide tears*
When I had somebody to love me,
Everything was less hard,
Every hour we spent together,
Has now broken my heart,
When I was lonely,
No one helped to comfort me,
Every minute we spent together,
Has broken my heart inside me,
Now when I’m lonely,
I cry in silence all alone,
And when I need somebody,
I am vastly broken.
No one has tried to help me,
Defeat this dark shadow of pain,
I cry in silence, and pine for love,
I am quite afraid.
What if no one wants me?
Because I’m so fallen?
Yet, in the distance,
I hear someone calling.
Saying; I will love you,
Forever, as you are,
My love will find you,
No matter where you are.
I shall always love you,
And treasure you forever,
And by your side, I shall remain
And leave you I shall never.
I lifted my head up,
And wiped away my tears,
Grasped the offered hand,
And the pain disappeared.
My grief fell away,
And new joy was born,
And I was victorious,
No matter how worn.
I smiled, and followed the voice,
Into a new light,
And to a beautiful city we went,
A city new and bright.
Gold and silver, and opals shined,
The voice spoke again,
This is where you’ll live,
And my love shall never end.
Quite messy still, I wrote this this morning on impulse, just wanted critique on it. 🙂
“Tears sparkle like fallen stars, the world at our fingertips, We didn’t know, It wasn't happiness.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.