April 13, 2020 at 1:43 pm #110147
So I have a super short, fun little piece of flash fiction that I’d like some feedback on! It’s only about 500 words, about a character who argues with the author about his death 😀
Here’s the link to the GoogleDoc!
(I’m tagging people who have critiqued for me before… If anyone is interested, I’d really like to form a core group of beta-readers to proofread for me 🙂 I’m hoping to post a piece of flash fiction once a month on my blog!)
- This topic was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by Esther Sears.
Lover of Christ, writer (obviously...), fangirl, and a proud Meerkat!April 13, 2020 at 1:56 pm #110150
Hello again, Esther! Thank you for tagging me. First of all, I would be interested in being a core beta-reader. I mostly just love reading stories, but I also love helping writers hone their works!
Now I am off to read the flash fiction (it already sounds fun).
April 13, 2020 at 2:05 pm #110153The Inkspiller@the-inkspiller
- This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by Vivian Grant.
It was, in a word, fun. 🙂
I really enjoyed it for all of its silliness – and especially the tragicomic realization by Lucas that he’s not the chosen one. It was so enjoyable I kind of actually want to see the theoretical rest of this story that this would have been excerpted from (unless this is actually an excerpt (parody?) from something you’re actually working on).
I might add a little more argumentation / back and forth at the end – maybe after she suggests sharks, he winces at the idea of being eaten and asks for orcs instead (or equivalent thereof in your world), or tries to subtly suggest modifications to the story that might extend his life…
Honestly I think you could run this out to a novella length if you wanted to, with the adventures of a “side character” who is the only one in the story to realize that they’re in a story, and tries to argue with the author to get what he wants / avoid his (multiple) plot-enhancing deaths, and get the other protagonists to see reason and NOT make arbitrarily dumb choices for the sake of the plot.
Non nobis Domine, sed nomini, Tuo da gloriam.April 13, 2020 at 2:22 pm #110155
It was hilarious, but I think that it ended too quickly. I’m not sure that it needs much action, just more dialogue. I’m not saying that action wouldn’t work (the author making orcs show up just to scare Lucas would be pretty funny), just that the main theme was about an argument between author and character.
Is this scene taken from a larger project? It is funny to imagine taking a serious scene from a serious story and turning it into a hilarious spin-off.April 13, 2020 at 7:03 pm #110173Emberynus The Dragonslayer@emberynus-the-dragonslayer
<p style=”text-align: left;”>@esther-sears</p>
Thank you so much for tagging me to this!
I loved it! Very funny and I can sympathize with the debate with characters LOL!! They can be very persuasive sometimes 😉
Sold souls and dead promisesApril 14, 2020 at 10:00 am #110191
@vivian-grant Great!! You’ve been very helpful so far so I’d love to steal you for my core group!! 😀 I’m trying to figure out how exactly to communicate exactly… Would you be comfortable/willing to use email?
Lover of Christ, writer (obviously...), fangirl, and a proud Meerkat!April 14, 2020 at 10:10 am #110192
Thank you all so much for reading!!
Yes, it did seem a little short to me too. I like the idea about adding more with the sharks so maybe I’ll try that!
And nope, this was not taken out any other projects 😉 This story is all there is! It’s an interesting thought to turn it into a novella, though… Another thought I had was turning this into a flash fiction series, a series with the author taking to her characters 😀 This one he’s arguing about his death, the next one could be a character pleading for the author not to make her fall in love, another villain argues that he doesn’t want to be evil, etc. Would that be something ya’ll would want to read?
Lover of Christ, writer (obviously...), fangirl, and a proud Meerkat!April 14, 2020 at 11:14 am #110199The Inkspiller@the-inkspiller
@esther-sears Heck yeah! At the very least I would be interested to see what it looks like.
Non nobis Domine, sed nomini, Tuo da gloriam.April 14, 2020 at 12:16 pm #110204Dakota@dakota
Sorry I’m late to respond to this!
It was hilarious!!! But I really have no critiques that hasn’t already been offered, other than great job! 🙂
That would be interesting to read! 🙂
Your word I have hidden in my heart,
That I might not sin against You.April 14, 2020 at 6:50 pm #110219
I am comfortable with email, though wouldn’t you just post the content here or on your blog?
I would love to read more like this! All of the brief examples sound fun. Keep at it!April 20, 2020 at 9:31 am #110486
@dakota Thanks so much!! I’m glad you enjoyed it! 😀
@vivian-grant Actually a lot of people beta-reading for me aren’t on Story Embers, so I thought it would be easier to just do the same thing for everyone, since everyone has email 🙂 And I’ll post to my blog after the beta-readers have it 😀
Lover of Christ, writer (obviously...), fangirl, and a proud Meerkat!April 20, 2020 at 10:34 am #110489
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