July 31, 2018 at 12:11 am #42571
@brandon-miller Well, it’s your fault. You’re the one who wrote an article about killing characters. I was just following your advice. *blinks innocently*
I think dinosaurs are cooler than dragons. 🦖July 31, 2018 at 3:19 am #42574J.A.Penrose@j-a-penroseAugust 1, 2018 at 11:21 pm #42718Brandon Miller@brandon-millerAugust 2, 2018 at 12:44 pm #42757Catwing@catwing
@brandon-miller …not helpful?… But it’s the script. oh, well.
Wait article? I forgot to read the writing articles on here! Thanks for the reminder @mariposa *runs off* *reads brandon-miller’s article* *agrees with article except Bucky* *thunder booms* Muh, ha, ha! *wants to kill characters* Who should go first… *rubs paws together* Hee, hee.
Kay: *clears throat* You aren’t thinking about actually killing me are you?
Me: Of course not.
Alice: I’m still mad at you for that.
Me: Killing you or not killing her?
Alice: Both. *sharpens knife* Now maybe I can get half a wish? *points knife at me* *Loki grin*
Me: *gulp* You can’t hold a knife you’re dead.
Alice: You haven’t written that yet. Maybe you can make me not die?
Me: Right… I think I’m going to go kill a different character…
Alice: @j-a-penrose Then don’t drink chai when you read funny things.
Me: Wow, you actually care about people Alice. 🙂
Alice: Choking on food is an embarrassing way to die. I’m going to go plan your death scene. *leaves*
Me: I take it back… *shouts after her* Also that won’t be cannon. I’m the author here!
When your wings are weak and you feel like you can't fly any farther you're halfway there!August 2, 2018 at 5:23 pm #42786Cindy Green@cindy
@brandon-miller *scowls* if you believed me we need to talk
to elevate the soul, poetry is necessary. -eapAugust 3, 2018 at 3:35 pm #42846
@brandon-miller There, there. *pats you on the shoulder* If it’s any consolation, I plottted your death long before I met you. 😜
I think dinosaurs are cooler than dragons. 🦖August 3, 2018 at 5:38 pm #42859Jessi Rae@jessi-rae
I can’t believe I’ve read the latest episode without commenting yet…
@mariposa I’m SO excited for the next part! I just love the whole story – all the puns and word plays are especially perfect! XD 🤣
"How did I escape? With difficulty. How did I plan this moment? With pleasure."August 14, 2018 at 8:48 am #43622Anne of Lothlorien@anne-of-lothlorien
@brandon-miller – “I like fiction. It gives me abs.” … I literally one hundred percent seriously just dropped a Hostess cake on the floor and stepped on it while I was dancing around in laughter.
@mariposa – I made it into the story!!! I can’t believe this!!! First time I’ve ever been in a fiction story. I love my role. 😀 Funny thing… you made my hair red. It’s actually not red, it’s light brown, but my best friend insists vehemently that it looks like it has a red tint, especially in sunlight.
I'm short, I like words, and I love people.
No, I didn't draw my profile pic.September 17, 2018 at 12:13 am #47870
Hey, everybody! Sorry it’s been so long since I posted the last installment of “Raiders of the Lost Arc,” but my tablet has been doing weird things and I can’t interact with the site properly. (FYI, the only reason I can post this is because I blackmailed one of my family members into letting me use their device just so y’all won’t die from the suspense of not knowing what happens to Pennsylvania and the rest. 😅)
Okay, so here it is! The last part of RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARC!!! (As a side note, you may want to reread the other parts of the story just because it’s been so long—you can find part one on page 1, part two on page 4, part three on page 6, part four on page 8, and part five on page 9).
Pennsylvania and General Raspberry stumbled along the road, the rest of the Gnatsees and non-Gnatsees trudging behind them limply.
Cindy sighed, planting a grave marker into the dirt. General Raspberry stopped and sniffled, reading the inscription that said, “Don’t be like Brandon.” Cindy sprinkled some sunflower seeds on top of the grave, then got up and followed everyone into Ariel’s Chocolate Shop so they could drown their troubles in a sundae.
Gabrielle let kindness fall to the ground, numbly spooning a hundred-scoop banana split. Jessi-Rae whimpered as General Raspberry stroked her head. “Another cup of sorbet, please,” he mumbled as Pennsylvania, Storm, Christi, Sierra, Zikergirl, and every other important and nonimportant person in this story sat next to him and sighed, resulting in a rather crowded bench. But even the introverts among them didn’t seem to care.
“Why are you so glum, dear friends?” A soft, peaceful voice interrupted them.
Pennsylvania gasped and General Raspberry dropped his sorbet as their glumness turned to dumbness. A woman clad in sparkling white clothes and glass slippers smiled at them. The whole room become illuminated by her light. She stepped forward. A small squirrel peeked out from her shoulder. Edna squealed.
“Who…who are you?” Pennsylvania coughed, wiping the chocolate syrup off his chin.
The woman pulled out a wand. “You don’t know? I’m Rolena, your fairy godmother.”
“But this is an action-advent—”
General Raspberry clamped his hand over Pennsylvania’s mouth. “Forget it, beggars can’t be choosers when it comes to winning a battle.”
Pennsylvania yanked General Raspberry’s hand off and cleared his throat. “So, how do you intend to help us?”
“By giving you advice.”
Pennsylvania groaned. The last thing a protagonist needs is advice.
“The KingPeeFer is growing stronger. The only way to defeat him and bring the arc to its rightful place is by each of you working together for the common good of literature.” She waved her wand and a board with a bunch of nails hammered into it appeared. She handed it to Pennsylvania. “This is structure. Its power is almost as strong as the arc. Use it wisely and you may be able weaken him.”
Rolena disappeared in a poof of glittery nuts. They all froze. Then they froze again to nearly a hundred degrees below zero when Brandon strutted into the room.
Cindy crossed her arms. “You’re supposed to be dead.”
“I had no plans to die today.” Brandon snorted.
“Obviously.” Cindy raised an eyebrow. “That and the fact that I put magical sunflower seeds on your corpse.”
“Hey, c’mon, we have more important matters to think about right now!” Pennsylvania looked everyone in the eye (which took quite a while considering how many people were present). “Are you with me?” he yelled, jumping up on the bar and raising the structure above his head.
“Yeah!” everyone screamed, waving their arms wildly and charging outside.
“All people who want my autograph stand over there, and you guys who want a photo of me stand over there,” the KingPeeFer bellowed into his microphone, standing in the entrance to his castle surrounded by a moat of sweet tea.
“Not so fast!”
A giant shadow encased the KingPeeFer. He looked up, but a huge breeze blew his hair in his face so he couldn’t see anything. “Quick! Somebody hand me my hairbrush!”
He combed the hair out of his vision and squinted into the sky.
Pennsylvania smirked, leaning out from the dragon’s flapping wings. “That way, Snapper!”
The dragon soared and landed in the midst of the crowd, squashing every chair in sight. Pennsylvania hopped out, followed by an army large enough to conquer an army.
The KingPeeFer laughed. “You think this paltry brigade of writers can stop me?”
Gabrielle narrowed her eyes. She swung kindness at him and grazed the back of his head so that a quarter of an inch of his lovely hair fell off.
The KingPeeFer clenched his teeth, slowly picking up the hair. “You’ll pay for this!”
He pulled the lever on the bridge and sealed the gate behind him.
The curd woman yanked out a nerf gun and pounded the gate at full throttle, but with no result. Snapper blew fire, but apparently it was fireproof.
“I know!” Gabrielle and the sea turtle girl chimed in, dragging out a canon and loading it.
A poof of sparkles blew out of the canon, coating the KingPeeFer’s castle with pink. The gate blasted open because nothing is glitter proof.
“After him!” General Raspberry ordered. Jessi lunged for the KingPeeFer and sunk her teeth into his leg while Ben Putty shot a raspberry gun at him and Penrose tried to decapitate his nose. He flopped to the ground. “Yay! We killed him!”
Everyone jumped up and down until the KingPeeFer reappeared, again, again, and again until the whole courtyard was full of Daniels.
“Uh-oh, he’s using the arc to develop characters!” Pennsylvania gulped. “All of which look just like him…”
“So how do we tell which one is him?” Storm crossed her arms.
“Whichever one is the loudest is the real one.” Pennsylvania narrowed his eyes, beating one of the Daniels over the head. “Nope, not this one, his head’s too soft.”
Everyone began attacking the Daniels. Cindy smooshed a cake in one’s face with the help of Sierra. The top hat girl and Corissa whipped out some pistols and used the marching Daniels as target practice while Brandon whammed them with his flying pans. But no matter how many they killed, murdered, or impaled, even more Daniels would appear.
Pennsylvania finished crushing the skull of one, looking up at the castle. Why would the real Daniel be here fighting when he could be inside safe and sound? Pennsylvania knew what he had to do. He crept toward the castle, signaling for Storm, Christi, and General Raspberry to follow. Pennsylvania slowly pushed a door open.
They stepped into a dark hallway with a winding staircase. Pennsylvania quietly tip-toed up the steps not so quietly because he had cranky shoes that whined with every shuffle. Soon they entered a huge throne room with huge portraits of the KingPeeFer covering the walls.
“Wow, the strokes in that painting are so amazing!”
“Christi!” Pennsylvania seethed, signaling her to be quiet, but he knew it was too late when he heard that ominous laughter.
“I’ve been expecting you.” The KingPeeFer stepped down from his throne and admired the view in the mirror next to him. “Why don’t you give up now while you’re ahead? There’s no way you can beat me, I’m indanielstructable.”
They all looked at each other and each one placed their hands on the structure. Light streamed out of it, blinding the KingPeeFer. They raised it up. The KingPeeFer’s hands shook. The Daniels started to fade and the castle began to collapse. They all lunged for him and snatched the arc from his hand.
“Yay for for us!” Zikergirl shouted, raising a glass of awesomesauce.
General Raspberry strutted to a stage, gaining everyone’s attention. “In honor of my recent victory—”
Edna glared at him for his inconsideracy.
“I mean our recent victory,” he corrected himself, “I make today a national holiday! And you’re all invited to my banquet!”
“Will there be cheesecake?” the curd woman asked.
“And chocolate?” Christi chirped.
“And cool beans?” the top hat girl added.
“And NO COFFEE!” everyone pleaded.
“Of course!” General Raspberry nodded, leading Pennsylvania, Storm, Christi, the curd woman, Cindy, Sierra, Zikergirl, the top hat girl, Jessi, Andrew the elf, Ben Putty, Aberdeen, Berfurd, Mallory, Penrose, Gabrielle, and everyone else who was ever in this story, into the banquet hall.
“And I reserved a special place for the arc so it can be admired by all for generations!” General Raspberry gestured to a pedestal in the middle of the room.
Pennsylvania drew out the arc, but it slipped from his fingers and crashed on the floor. Everyone gasped when something from inside the arc flew out. Storm bent down and picked it up, reading the ancient engraving.
Her face whitened.
“What is it?” Pennsylvania pleaded.
“According to the inscription, this is the flat arc—only one of three.”
“There’s two more!” Pennsylvania groaned, burying his face in his hands.
I think dinosaurs are cooler than dragons. 🦖September 17, 2018 at 2:52 am #47876J.A.Penrose@j-a-penrose
@mariposa XD Oh goodness. So much of that was priceless. I’m dying.
The gate blasted open because nothing is glitter proof.
So true. Doesn’t matter what you do, nothing is glitter proof. At all.
And mwahahaha! Only the flat arc was discovered. To be perfectly honest though…I don’t reckon rescuing the negative arc would be great…And the characters maaaaay get too confused to work their way through a disillusionment arc. Positive however…*taps chin thoughtfully* Those are always fun!
Writer | Freelance editor
InspirationSeptember 17, 2018 at 8:05 am #47886Corissa@corissa
@mariposa THIS IS AMAZING
Also, thanks for giving me the opportunity to get in some target practice. I’ve been needing to do that. 😉
Looking forward to a possible sometime-future sequel! 😀
ENFJ. Messenger of Christ. "Living a life that demands an explanation."September 17, 2018 at 8:56 am #47888Daeus Lamb@daeus-lamb
😀 Perfect ending
👖 🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢September 17, 2018 at 9:16 am #47891Evelyn@evelyn
Wow! That’s was hysterically amazing!!!! xD
I agree with @j-a-penrose … that was the best part.
So sad it’s over! :'(September 17, 2018 at 9:18 am #47892Gabrielle Pollack@gabriellepollack
*dies* You’re right. Nothing can withstand the awesome power of glitter!!!!! 😀 Bravo, Mariposa. Bravo.September 17, 2018 at 9:18 am #47893
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