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Character Voice Game

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  • #149267
    Noah Cochran
    @noah-cochran

    @mamaauthoress

    (Author’s Note: she’s autistic, so I’ve been practicing channelling that into her perspective — not sure if that was too glaringly obvious

    I wouldn’t have guessed that precisely, but I sensed something, so I think you’re handling it pretty well.

    Wow, yup. You got it. 👏 That’s him in a nutshell.

    Success! 🙂

    My WIP is … okay. I haven’t written it in a bit due to low fuel, so I’ve been trying to get my writer’s brain back into shape with roleplaying and mental excercising. How is your writing going?

    I feel ya. I’m currently in a period between projects myself (I needed a break). I finished book one of my current WIP series, around a month ago, and I’m currently working on outlining and brainstorming various projects. So pretty good (minus the occasional ‘everything is awful’ moment xD).

    #149268
    Laura K. Abeid
    @mamaauthoress

    @noah-cochran

    I wouldn’t have guessed that precisely, but I sensed something, so I think you’re handling it pretty well.

    Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t. What I meant was: I wasn’t sure if it was glaringly obvious that I was practicing channelling that. 😂

    *blinks* I need to figure out how to word things better. 😅

    I feel ya. I’m currently in a period between projects myself (I needed a break). I finished book one of my current WIP series, around a month ago, and I’m currently working on outlining and brainstorming various projects.

    Oh wow! You actually finished a book! That’s amazing!! *cheers as I try to kick my long-overdue WIP behind me*

    So pretty good (minus the occasional ‘everything is awful’ moment XD).

    Oooof, that is the worst. Literally the worst. 😖

    I am broken. I am bleeding .... But I am beautiful.

    #149275
    Mr.Trip Williams
    @jared-williams

    Thank you so much,


    @rose-colored-fancy

    and


    @noah-cochran

    It’s super challenging getting into the head of this antagonist, because he’s being forced into villainy against his will… Perhaps too subtle, but if you noticed, on top of still being attached to his former student, whenever he thinks about not killing, trying to save, or finding some way out (like killing himself) – he gets physically ill. Then the headache goes away once he resolves to kill his student again.  (Hard pattern to write in a short section…)

    You are right, Rose, he doesn’t want to kill his student, and would in fact rather want to kill himself than do it.

    If only I was allowed to end myself instead.

    I tried to show he used to be a professor and was quite whimsical (the underwater ruins akin to a palace in the stars) but his research was stolen by the head sage, and the head sage used an ancient inscription… (if I go further into the explanation, it will be a spoiler…) and consequentially lead to my antagonist not having a choice in the matter – being forced to have to kill his former protege.

    Do you have a short synopsis I could read of your WIP’s world?

    A synopsis… =) (tapping my fingers with my palms together, an eyebrow raised with a voracious grin on my face…) oh, you said short…. ;p

    High fantasy world with a completely original magic system and over a dozen completely original races (aygiff, maunin, scyphozome, vaelintrien, loxor, evianian, etc.) The magic system is mirrored off of plato’s forms, and each race has the “essence” ability to manipulate the forms of certain things. For instance, vaelintriens can manipulate the elements, maunins can manipulate plants, aygiff’s can manipulate their own body to transform into different animals. Complex cultures that vary between races as well as between nations with a rich history dating back to legends and myths.

    I know that’s a bit vague for a complex world, but… short… I’ve been in the process of building a website for my world (two books so far written – not published – in this world, and plan for more.) The website is

    https://worldofkaphar.weebly.com

    if you want to take a glance at it. I’d love to hear your thoughts.


    @mamaauthoress

    I like your characters. I thought I’d written up a response last night about it, but now I see it’s gone (sad face.) And I don’t remember what I wrote…

    Oh well… here’s second impressions. =)

    My first thought was there something about Coryn that makes her an oddity? I had a feeling that “lab” meant she has some sort of power or unusual ability

    This isn’t like the labs at home … you’re just in bed, not in any life-threatening danger.

    or perhaps that’s a hint that she has a traumatizing childhood?

    second thought was, is this an android or artificial life? because of emotions being alien…

    but then you wrote about the autism and that all made more sense.

    so with that context, all the signs are there. It so makes sense and is very well written and makes the character more endearing in my eyes. Very, very well done!!

    Oslo… Ruan- stepbrother who caused/led Oslo into trouble? Oslo has a bit of a chip on his shoulder, wants to prove himself to his father (predominantly by gaining the approval of the empress – whom his father works for?)

    So question.. is Ruan the older brother? or does the father favor Ruan’s mother? so Oslo sees himself as the illigitimate one?

     

    Christianity has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried. ~ G.K.C.

    #149279
    Laura K. Abeid
    @mamaauthoress

    @jared-williams

    I like your characters. I thought I’d written up a response last night about it, but now I see it’s gone (sad face.) And I don’t remember what I wrote…

    Oh well… here’s second impressions. =)

    Oof, I feel that. Oh well, it happens sometimes. 😅

    My first thought was there something about Coryn that makes her an oddity? I had a feeling that “lab” meant she has some sort of power or unusual ability

    or perhaps that’s a hint that she has a traumatizing childhood?

    You guessed it! That’s exactly what happened. (:

    second thought was, is this an android or artificial life? because of emotions being alien…

    Ooo, that’s an interesting thought … she is a bit robotic in personality, since she sees everything very black and white. That’s a really interesting thought.

    but then you wrote about the autism and that all made more sense.

    Hahaha, oops. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. 😅

    so with that context, all the signs are there. It so makes sense and is very well written and makes the character more endearing in my eyes. Very, very well done!!

    Thank you! I’m glad she’s endearing 😊

    Oslo… Ruan- stepbrother who caused/led Oslo into trouble? Oslo has a bit of a chip on his shoulder, wants to prove himself to his father (predominantly by gaining the approval of the empress – whom his father works for?)

    Yup! Sounds about right!

    So question.. is Ruan the older brother? or does the father favor Ruan’s mother? so Oslo sees himself as the illigitimate one?

    Wellll … kind of. Rúan and Osløn share a mother, and Osløn has too much pride to see himself as the illegitimate one (meaning he sees Rúan as illegitimate). Pretty close though!

    I am broken. I am bleeding .... But I am beautiful.

    #149288
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @jared-williams

    All of that is really close to what I was thinking! You did a great job of showing it!

    @everyone

    I have two more characters from the Pirate novel, who are still unnamed, but I know their roles and backgrounds, and their dynamic is really interesting. I’ll see if I can write up something for them later 😀

    Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?

    #149289
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    Okay, as I mentioned, they’re both unnamed as of yet. This whole story has more questions than answers, I have next to nothing finalized XD

    And for context, this is in a fantasy world.

    Character 1

    She stared out the window, watching the raindrops trailing down it. The masts of the ships bobbed in the distance, rigid and stiff, like a deep forest that led to nothing but more questions.

    She started counting them, almost without thinking. It was the only way to order the bobbing, billowing mess. Order, there had to be some order here.

    She straightened her skirts and her back even though it was already as rigid as the masts of the ships.

    She frowned at the harpsichord music from the next room. There seemed to be no pattern to it, every time there was a sliver of melody it changed, as though he couldn’t make up his mind what to play, as though rummaging through songs, trying to find one that fit. It was supremely irritating.

    He was at the core of this irritation. She’d once heard it said you could only rely on someone you trusted, but that was all nonsense. You could rely on anyone who was sufficiently motivated to help. Wasn’t he?

    She’d never been able to understand him. Like the shifting melody, he seemed to change every time she got a grasp on it. One thing was certain enough. She didn’t trust him, but she didn’t have to. As soon as something went wrong, she knew where the source of her problems was.

    She smiled, slow, certain. He had no idea that she would throw him to the wolves as soon as he was no longer useful.

    He wouldn’t know.

    Character 2

    His fingers skimmed over the ivory keys, trying to find an answer, a rhythm, a melody. Anything, really. It didn’t matter. As soon as he got a grasp on something familiar that might be able to calm the crawl up and down his spine, the rhythm fell into the familiar words.

    They see right through me. They see right through me.

    He switched it, trying to drown out the words in something else. The blonde girl who sat sewing in the corner looked up as he fell into something easy, something familiar. Her grey eyes seemed to look right through him, seeing everything, understanding everything.

    When had he gotten this paranoid? He’d been doing this too long.

    A tall, dark-haired woman strode into the room, twisting to allow her wide skirts through the narrow doorframe. She raised one perfect eyebrow, amusement and certainty equal in her expression.

    “That sounds familiar,” she said, her low voice smooth and even as always.

    Oh, no. What had he been playing? His mind had wandered and memory had taken over his fingers.

    That was why the blonde girl had looked up. She’d recognized it too. He shouldn’t know it. The simple, repetitive song was common among the sailors in port, not nobles in drawing-rooms.

    He smiled easily and got up, giving her a simple bow. No need for excess formality, but he couldn’t neglect it either.

    She sat down, careful not to crush or wrinkle her skirts. She always looked as though she’d been starched and ironed.

    She waved away the blonde girl without even looking in her direction. The girl scooped up her sewing and literally scurried out of the room.

    He couldn’t ignore the way all the servants were scared of the tall woman, with her perfectly uniform expression and perfectly stiff posture. She scared him too, but he’d never let on. As soon as she sat, he took it as permission to do the same.

    If she’d sent out the servants, it meant she wanted to talk to him alone. She didn’t know. He wouldn’t let her know. If she would bring it up, he could lie through his teeth and smile to her face. He’d done it so often.

    She wouldn’t know.

    ____________

    Yeah no I don’t really know what’s going on either, but I think it shows personality pretty well XD

    Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?

    #149290
    Noah Cochran
    @noah-cochran

    @mamaauthoress

    *blinks* I need to figure out how to word things better

    You’re not alone in that sentiment. I find myself butchering sentences quite often. xD


    @jared-williams

    An intriguing world. I might check out sometime, but I should warn you, my…how should I say it, beliefs about supernatural content are rather strict.


    @rose-colored-fancy

    Fantasy pirates? You have officially attained my attention. 🙃

    Character 1:

    A woman who likes things in equilibrium–whether it be composure (guesswork for that one), landscape, a plan, or music. She has a cynical view about trust, and has no compunction to use people for her own devices.

    So one question, Rose, how often do you use mental comparisons or similes to reflect a character’s past/background? For instance, this character compared ships to a forest, and talked of throwing someone to the wolves. Did that at reflect her background of living in a wooded area, or was that just a random thought?

    Character 2:

    To begin with, this fellow is definitely anxious, that pops off the page nicely. He seems to have little confidence, and is obviously undercover in some way. It appears he is used to being at ports, but is now having to act the minstrel or something akin to it in a noble’s abode. I do like those last lines about lying. They show/hint at his lifestyle very well.

    So is this a series or stand alone you’re working on as well?

     

    I’ll try to get in a couple more characters in the next day or so.  One of them is brand new and needs work, so we’ll see how that goes… 😏

    #149292
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @noah-cochran

    Fantasy pirates? You have officially attained my attention.

    I know right?? The aesthetic of this book is the only thing I’m absolutely happy with XD

    A woman who likes things in equilibrium–whether it be composure (guesswork for that one), landscape, a plan, or music. She has a cynical view about trust, and has no compunction to use people for her own devices.

    Spot on! She’s interesting, even though I don’t know much about her yet!

    So one question, Rose, how often do you use mental comparisons or similes to reflect a character’s past/background? For instance, this character compared ships to a forest, and talked of throwing someone to the wolves. Did that at reflect her background of living in a wooded area, or was that just a random thought?

    Well, in my real work when I actually know the characters, I use it constantly! It’s one of my favorite poetic devices to convey atmosphere and backstory. Depending on the character and their voice, I can even go slightly overboard with it XD

    However, in this case I know nothing about the character, so it was random for once.

    To begin with, this fellow is definitely anxious, that pops off the page nicely. He seems to have little confidence and is obviously undercover in some way. It appears he is used to being at ports, but is now having to act the minstrel or something akin to it in a noble’s abode. I do like those last lines about lying. They show/hint at his lifestyle very well.

    You’re very close! The only thing I could have conveyed better is that he’s a noble himself. In fact, he out-ranks the other character, even though she’s in charge. Otherwise, everything is correct! I don’t know too much about him yet, but he’s probably one of my favorite characters so far!

    So is this a series or stand alone you’re working on as well?

    Gilded Blood has thoroughly cured me of series for the time being XD It’s standalone, I hope to write it after I finish revising Gilded Blood, so it might be a while yet. For now, I’m trying to work out the plot and the characters. (And depending on how it goes, the mystery might demand I write it first XD)

    Neither of these characters were the MC, or even POV characters. The blonde girl sewing in the background is the MC, but I couldn’t think of a good way to juxtapose her voice with the others. I might think of something eventually.

    I’ll try to get in a couple more characters in the next day or so.  One of them is brand new and needs work, so we’ll see how that goes…

    Ohhh, I can’t wait to see them! That’ll be awesome!

     

     

    Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?

    #149307
    Mr.Trip Williams
    @jared-williams

    @rose-colored-fancy

    The simple, repetitive song was common among the sailors in port, not nobles in drawing-rooms.

    I think this threw me off. I thought he was not a noble, but pretending to be a noble.

    First character… OCD, perhaps a bit of asbergers…? Cynical to the heart. Seeking either revenge or a big score that ha complicated interworking that has her posing as someone else? And she has a hired mercenary fellow who is helping her? My guess, is the she has a plot to steal from a money ship that is set inside a convoy of ships… and she see’s her hired help as a… necessary buffoon…

    Second character – seems he’s either running from his past or has ulterior motives… if he’s higher noble status, it makes me think perchance he is either a noble who’s lost his station/wealth/family/or something similar, or perhaps he has a vendetta against the pirates themselves and is working undercover to get closer to one in particular (or closer to a specific goal). Not sure, but I do like him.

    Christianity has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried. ~ G.K.C.

    #149308
    Joelle Stone
    @joelle-stone

    Thx for the tag, Noah, but I don’t have the time for this rn. 😀 Great idea, tho!! Have fun!

    https://thepeninspired.wordpress.com

    #149309
    Emma Walker
    @emma-walker

    "If your goal is purity in heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." -Elisabeth Elliott

    #149313
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @jared-williams

    First character… OCD, perhaps a bit of asbergers…? Cynical to the heart. Seeking either revenge or a big score that ha complicated interworking that has her posing as someone else? And she has a hired mercenary fellow who is helping her? My guess, is the she has a plot to steal from a money ship that is set inside a convoy of ships… and she see’s her hired help as a… necessary buffoon…

    Not quite but you’re close! She’s definitely after something… (I don’t even know what XD) Definitely cynical! And she doesn’t view him in a too-favorable light XD

     seems he’s either running from his past or has ulterior motives… if he’s higher noble status, it makes me think perchance he is either a noble who’s lost his station/wealth/family/or something similar, or perhaps he has a vendetta against the pirates themselves and is working undercover to get closer to one in particular (or closer to a specific goal). Not sure, but I do like him.

    Thank you! That’s pretty close! He’s a lower noble status, maybe a baronet or some other minor noble like that. He did lose his station at some point! He is both running from his past and has ulterior motives, so double points on that one XD

    It’s very hard to show clearly since I still have very little idea what’s going on in the plot XD

    Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?

    #149321
    Noah Cochran
    @noah-cochran

    @rose-colored-fancy

    Well, in my real work when I actually know the characters, I use it constantly! It’s one of my favorite poetic devices to convey atmosphere and backstory. Depending on the character and their voice, I can even go slightly overboard with it XD

    However, in this case I know nothing about the character, so it was random for once.

    Yep, I figured. I just have a tendency to read into things nowadays.

    The only thing I could have conveyed better is that he’s a noble himself. In fact, he out-ranks the other character, even though she’s in charge. Otherwise, everything is correct! I don’t know too much about him yet, but he’s probably one of my favorite characters so far!

    Oh, yeah, I wouldn’t have guessed that. Now I’m confused and intrigued on why in the world he is acting the jongleur.

    Gilded Blood has thoroughly cured me of series for the time being

    Oh, I know exactly what you mean. Everytime I have a new idea, I’m always torn between series and stuffing it in a stand alone for my work load’s sake. xD


    @joelle-stone

    Thanks for the response Joelle, and that’s totally fine. 🙂


    @emma-walker

    You got the first place prize?

    😉

     

     

    Alrighty, here are a couple more of my characters:

     

    Character 1:

    The ring of steel. The screams of dying men. The putrid scent of gore.

    They were the signs of justice being delivered upon the wicked. The signs of the world being cleansed of the filth that tainted its fair soil.

    Mareth brought his long blade down on an opponent’s neck, and with a gurgled scream, the man fell on his face in the early morning dew, his life blood seeping into the crisp grass.

    Another rotten tree felled in the forest of humanity. Another grain of chaff removed from the wheat. Another murderer ended.

    Mareth swung his gaze across the chaos in the surrounding area. Soldiers in the blue and yellow uniforms of Henry the Young King’s retinue fought all around them. But they were retreating before the wrath’s fury.

    Or most of them were.

    Two soldiers charged Mareth, their swords glinting in the young rays of a new sun. Fire filled his veins, heating his blood until his limbs were bursting with it. A malevolent smile crossed his lips as the furnace roared throughout every part of his body. Fools. The wrath would consume them all.
    The first soldier fell with two swift blows. It was like chopping wood for the winter, but its purpose was so much higher.

    The second soldier blocked his attack, but the wrath didn’t have time to play games.

    Mareth knocked the soldier’s sword away with his own, and seized his throat with a crushing grip. Raw power seemed to seep from his fingers, sending a tremble through his limbs. The soldier’s choking gasps lasted mere moments as the wrath shut off the air from his body.

    The wicked tainted the air with their breaths. But they would no longer.

    “They’re retreating! What are your orders?” Baycar shouted over the tumult as he kicked a corpse off his sword.

    Mareth scanned the backs of the retreating scum. The fire roaring through his veins, his mind, his very being, did nothing to dull his senses. A leader, no matter how humble his background, thought his actions through so as to attain his purpose with bold confidence. But there was little thought needed for this. The wrath allowed none to escape.

    “Kill them all.”

    Character 2:
    Life was one big fight for survival. Nothing more, nothing less.

    With a grunt, Drastan sent the Almohad flying backwards to crash through the damaged wall of a wattle-and-daub building. As dust motes puffed into the sunlit sky, fragments of wood spiked up in every direction, stabbing the air like a cat’s hair standing on end.

    Instead of springing up to fight like the tenacious Saracens had a habit of doing, the fellow scrambled away, blinking dust out of his eyes and gripping his turban like it was a noble’s crown.

    Wise of him. Drastan had no desire to kill the man, but he would do what it took to survive. All men did. That was the only way to make it in life.

    Lamar, his mercenary captain, wouldn’t be pleased to know he had let a man escape, but it wasn’t as if this was some battle for glory and honor, so Lamar could go kiss a hog. Drastan had lost track of who was attacking who and why, but it didn’t matter. Neither did it matter who was the evil, and who claimed to be in the right. War was war, fighting was everywhere, and forgetting everything except survival was the only way to live.

    Three Saracens burst out from a sturdy wood building further down the beat-dirt street with arms full of loot. Drastan couldn’t blame them. If this wasn’t a Castlian village they were fighting in, he would be doing the same.

    Hefting his war hammer, he charged the three Almohad soldiers. Shouts rang out as the three  dropped their loot and drew scimitars. Such puny weapons. Swords demanded delicacy and thought, and Drastan failed to see the point of such things. A warhammer or a fine bec de corbin and some brute force would do the job much better.

    Bone cracked and a scream rent the air as his warhammer smashed through the scimitar guard of the first soldier and sent him sprawling to the ground. The other two charged Drastan with Arabic and African battlecries that he had heard countless times.

    As their scimitars sliced through the air, Drastan found himself on the retreat. Charging in like that may not have the best idea, but all situations could be turned in your favor with another force. Besides, planning an action out was a waste of time and no safer than running headlong into a fight.

    A billhook caught one of the scimitars, yanked it to the side, and then planted its spiked head in the Almohad’s chest. As the man screamed, his remaining compatriot ran off, loot forgotten.

    “What in the bloody skies are you doing?” the billhook’s owner, Rodan, shouted as the thunder of hooves filled the air. The Castilian knights must be coming in to clean up the stragglers.

    Drastan slipped his warhammer into a loop on his baldric and swiped a sweaty strand of his curly midnight hair back behind his ear. “I do as I please. Go bother someone else.”

     

    Upon looking back on these two, I found that I broke my ‘don’t use too much introspection’ rule, quite badly. xD

    #149336
    Emma Walker
    @emma-walker

    @noah-cochran I was just having a bit of trouble lol

    "If your goal is purity in heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." -Elisabeth Elliott

    #149352
    Noah Cochran
    @noah-cochran

    @emma-walker

    I figured. I’m just messing with ya. 🙃

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