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Ah! Well, somehow causing a war would certainly destroy their innocence, and there are almost innumerable ways to start a war. Genocide would also ruin their innocence, but I feel like it’s less plausible. It would work best if whoever your antagonist is no longer had their innocence. Either their from our world (like in Out of the Silent Planet By C.S. Lewis) or they’ve already had their innocence destroyed.
Another thought would be a certain command that would cause lots of innocence loss if violated. (like the Fall of our own world. Also like the near-fall of C.S. Lewis’s Paralandra). This command could be almost anything, but the regardless, the bad guys must have a convincing reason to break it.
Hope that helps!
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comlove the idea! got the mental juices flowing.
I would imagine one difference would be there would be a lot less % water content around the earth. More tectonic activity means more volcanic activity means more land mass and less ocean. Would have to be careful about that though, because the ocean is our greatest atmosphere and oxygen content provider here on earth. However, perhaps adaptability isn’t a problem with that… like perhaps they can run further on less oxygen than we can here on earth. (the only thing that might effect in your story telling is perhaps changing from higher to lower elevations doesn’t effect them much). Just something to think about. Of course, if that causes an issue with anything, typically things left unsaid are left unconcerned about when reading fantasy.
Some ideas to play with – even on earth, on the bottom of the ocean floor, there are whole ecosystems founded around hydrothermal vents, where the magma is so close to the ocean floor that temperature of the water reaches well above boiling (up to 750 degrees Fahrenheit!!!) and the creatures (animals!) actually survive off of turning the heat into energy, like plants turn sunlight into energy. One idea could be that much of the animal/plant life are producers (“thermavores” lol. just a fun idea for a name…) that live off the high heat of volcanic regions.
It’s hard to imagine the entire planet would be suffering from constant volcanic eruptions. The poles, for instance, but I’ve never done any research on earthquakes near the poles, so I may be completely off on that. But perhaps there are “safe zones” around the planets which become “oases.” Planes would not be a way to travel most likely due to more volatile and changing wind patterns. Our airplanes don’t have to use wind currents, but they predominantly do because the are mostly stable and support flight and speed (same for ocean currents) but I’d imagine if you drastically increase tectonic activity, those air and ocean currents would not be stable. However, with heat being a more constant flare, blimps and such perhaps would be more readily invented? Not sure. Certainly thermo-energy usage.
Another issue you might address with the increased volcanic activity is “ash storms” and the potential lethality of not just the blockage of the sun but the potential poison that comes with it. (If you look at some of the “super volcanoes” we have on earth, it is postulated that if one erupted, it would cover the earth in ash for decades, I think if I remember correctly, and would potentially cataclysmically end life on earth… but it’s been a while since I’ve read up on that, and that may be highly exaggerated… just something else to look into.)
Higher global temperatures. Probably very little to no snow. Ever. A good question you might think about is what is causing the higher tectonic fluctuations? Perhaps the planet has two moons that causes an imbalance or stress on the gravity of the planet that causes the tectonic plates to break, move, and shift more often than our planet does…. (of course, you don’t have to include the rationale in your book, but having two moons might be something that comes naturally from your ideas??)
Society would do one of two things… if there is a large plain, build in the middle away from all mountains and thus away from any potential tectonic activity (however, if your worlds tectonic plates are continually breaking and changing, that may not be a feasible solution) – – or two, society would seek out the highest mountains to inhabit – as long as it’s not a volcano. Nomadic tribes would likely exist, yes, especially tribes that traveled from one “safe” location to the next; however, I don’t see higher volcanic activity limiting society to nomadic life. Not if the intelligent species of your planet are anything like humanity. Well, not unless it is set in primitive or medieval – like time periods in humanities history. All depends upon how advanced you want to make your culture. And the sky is the limit as to the technology you can create for your world.
Oh wait… you did say medieval like eras… I do see castles atop of mountains and definitely motes, large motes, especially if in the plains. Lots of deep motes to redirect lava flows should they come. (Just throwing out lots of ideas. lol. Keep what you like, throw the rest out without a seconds thought).
Is there a metal/rock/substance in your world that can withstand magma? That would be in intriguing object for technology/weapons/building material/etc.
One technology that would likely be highly advantageous and you could probably get away with advancing further than other subjects would be filtering technology. Being able to filter the air and the water, even the food would be a great need to survive on a planet with heightened volcanic activity. (but then again, another idea could be that on the planet, even your intelligent species could live off of the heat instead… so for instance volcanoes produce a lot of carbon dioxide and sulfur dioxide, so perhaps your humans can breath SO2 (Sulfur Dioxide) and perhaps they have an organ that separates the sulfur from the oxygen so they can breath out the sulfur and retain the oxygen… (not sure if that would mean they would have to be sulfur based organisms instead of carbon based organism, but it’s an idea…lol.) And of course, it’s not necessary for the story line itself to go into the science of it all, but. it brings up interesting ideas I think… oh, and if they breath out sulfur, lol, their breath would be black or dark (you know, like when you see your breath when it’s cold and it looks white… well, theirs would be black. =) )
Oh, the worlds inhabitants would be deathly afraid of oceans, I could imagine. If they can’t see the end of the water, they will run from it! Why? Because any tectonic activity within the ocean would produce tsunamis. So if tsunamis occur frequently, no one would want to live near those large bodies of waters. – that also means that unless there is flight, your inhabitants will be likely restricted to one continent, unless the continents are all close enough that you can see them from each others coast lines.
As far as flora go, not sure you need to change it too much, unless you want to. Plant life are extremely versatile, even here on earth. However, deep sea vents can be a good example for you here too. You could also have creatures or plants that are able to withstand incredible heats, such as being able to survive or even live in magma.
I imagine that potentially, especially if air currents aren’t consistent and/or ash-storms are common – that there wouldn’t be too many flying creatures unless they are able to withstand crazy weather patterns and winds and/or are able to equally defend themselves on the ground.
another idea I had for flora life is perhaps a plant that is the same above ground as it is below ground – perhaps it can absorb heat through its roots/stems/branches instead of through leaves.
I do see water being a potential problem. Perhaps your cultures revolve around fresh water – being one of the greatest resources on your planet – akin to precious gems, gold and silver on ours? (especially since the high ash-content in the atmosphere would most likely mean it’s exceedingly difficult to get fresh water at all, unless it’s an underground aquifer. Of course, one way around that is perhaps, like a previous suggestion, they are able to ingest sulfur perfectly fine, and their body just filters it out. Lol. would that make their sweat, tears, and…. other liquid byproducts… black? that’s a cool idea.
perhaps they have the ability to see differently from us, like being able to see through high concentrations of dust. Or they maybe have filters over their eyes to protect their eyes from the dust (like some animals have three eyelids or an inner eyelid…)
I could see a lot of culture based around the volatility of the earth. perhaps difficulty trusting or having a higher distrust of outsiders (and vice versa, a higher trust and culture of community for “insiders”). That could be a rationale for rates of war or lack of education or even vast disparity between technology across your world (example, one section of your world may be stuck in the Stone Age while another might be in the medieval age while yet another be as high as the Industrial Age – for example.)
going back to culture, perhaps most cultures are pessimistic or somber in nature. or they emphasize strength and versatility. Lots of ways you could take it. Hope some of my ideas were helpful. =) it was fun brain storming for it. I might be able to think of more ideas, but it’s been over an hour and is now midnight. =) Have fun!
Christianity has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried. ~ G.K.C.
I was thinking something lichen-like. dry, grows on rocks; good for places that are desolate after earthquakes. For volcanic areas, I’m imagining a phoenix-style plant that goes up in flame only to rebirth.
Other ideas I had was: short shrubby things that are heat resistant, or just burn up and regrow very quickly.
Levitating plants.
Civilizations would be nomadic, unless they can find earthquake and/or heat resistant material to build cities with. floating cities and levitating cities would also be a good idea.
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comYou could call some of them by physical characteristics, (the man with the long hair; the girl with the crooked nose), but if you call all 20 of them either by names or physical traits, the reader will lose their place. I recommend splitting them into groups, so that the POV character can refer to them as “group A” instead of listing a bunch of physical traits. This essentially cuts down your character count, without actually doing so.
As far as introducing names, you can have a few characters say “Hey, I never met you, my name is John Doe” or you can have another character call a person by name, and the POV character thinks, “AH, the man with long hair is Justin!” or whatever. This will work even in a high-action, tense situation where you need to use names to cut down on words and sentence length.
As for personal experience, I went to a retreat where I knew next to nobody. It was a mixture of me asking my travel companions, (who had been there before) “Who is that person, over there, next to the coffee machine, with black hair?” and me making mental notes of people–similar to the physical traits tip I gave you earlier–so that I could tell them apart. Then I just talked to people, and kept a mental log of the people I talked to, running through their names and what they looked like in my head and on paper (Okay, the booklet with their names in wast the paper; I didn’t actually write them down). This is my experience, but you’d probably have to modify it to put it in a book; it’s pretty boring as it is.
Anyway, there’s what I got for you! Hopefully it’s helpful.
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.com@inkhorn did that help at all, or shall I try again?
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comIn extremely volatile places, nomadic civs would be a great idea. Thanks for your thoughts!
Other ideas I had was: short shrubby things that are heat resistant, or just burn up and regrow very quickly.
That’s a great idea. I will be keeping that one.
Levitating plants.
Now you’ve go me thinking…I will be keeping this as well. Thanks for your thoughts. 🙂
You had some fantastic ideas there, Jared, thanks for typing that up!
I’m especially glad you mentioned the ocean vent thing, that could have some interesting possibilities. Same for the volcanic ash. I don’t want volcanoes and ash everywhere, but thinking about what the environment would be like where there are many, and how living things would survive, is definitely something to consider, and you had some great thoughts.
did that help at all, or shall I try again?
It was very helpful! Your suggestions have sparked new ideas. If you don’t mind, could you review this new idea and see if it makes sense and is realistic?
My idea goes something like this:
The girl’s (I’ll call her Lyra for now) act of running away is the first crack in the world’s innocence because those who don’t know the full story begin to wonder what reasons she had for running away. Her family and others who are trying to find Lyra further weaken the world’s innocence unintentionally through their actions. In their desperation to discover her whereabouts, her family, at times, resorts to manipulating those who are withholding information. The others who are involved in the search lie and threaten others, not to mention the anger and frustration that they have built up against Lyrah. And thus, in this way, the actions that were once considered unthinkable became a part of the world.
Thank you for the suggestions! They really did get my brain running.
Thank you for your suggestion! It gave me a launching point that’ll take me deeper into Lyrah’s motivations. 🙂
If you don’t mind, could you review this new idea and see if it makes sense and is realistic?
Yes, that makes sense! The way you have it it sounds a little dystopian, which is great if that is your genre. Also–and you may already know this–you will need compelling motivation both for Lyra and her family: Lyra needs motivation to run away, and her family need motivation to try and find her.
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comOkay, folks! I have a REALLY long post (it’s under the 2000 word limit, but barely.) It’s the synopsis for a Sleeping Beauty Retelling with role reversals (so Sleeping Beauty is a guy, and the “prince” that kisses her (now him) is a princess)
Alaric studies hard, pouring all his hopes and efforts into one day being king of Reantáre. His birthday looms close, bringing with it the day when King Joseph will crown his son and they will rule jointly. His days are full of studying, visits of state, diplomacies. He has little time for the friends he once loved to roam with, and makes himself believe he has even less. We see him greeting peasants, being polite, but not thoughtful; forgetting his three friends, Irrelis the Magician, Tullian the Empath, and Voltemand the Energy-Wielder.
~~
Isella Aumardel never wanted to be a princess. She was happy with her life just short of nobility. True, she was a distant relation to the king of Archendale, but it was so far removed that being in line for the throne was an impossibility. Until It happened. Every heir to the throne disappeared or died in a series of mysterious events that Isella knows cannot be happenstance. The Regent has too much to gain from these “coincidences” for it to be that.
Now she is left alone. Sad, dispirited, and sometimes afraid, her only companion the never-ending tremoring that pulses through her veins. It’s been there for as long as she can remember; sometimes better, sometimes worse. If her family knew anything about it, they never told her; they only said again and again that she must tell no one. “Never tell them,” was what her father had said as they took him away. He had told her to go to the wizard of E’Nore for answers. She thinks it has something to do with people dying.
The southern area of Reantáre is made up of wealthy landholders and merchants, but in the northern duchies the land is less fertile, and the sea is farther away, making the people in the north mostly poor cattle ranchers or miners. For years the people in the north have been unsettled and the royal family has tried to keep the peace and to ease the suffering of the north, but to no avail. Recently, the northern duchies have grown more restless, crying for more and more welfare-style handouts, which has caused the royal family no little anxiety: everyone in the kingdom has been taught since birth the ancient prophecy that the first person to shed blood will perish, and destroy the entire kingdom of Reantáre.
Then, with the coronation only two weeks away, the unthinkable happens. The northern duchies revolt. The dukes are hiding in their castles for fear of the peasants, and rioting breaks out in the streets.
~~
Isella is brought before the Regent and told that as princess of Reantáre, she is engaged to mary him, whether she will or nill: that’s the reason she was spared from the genocide of the nobility. This gives Isella a huge problem, because there is burdened with a spell, placed on her by the wizard of E’Nore: if she marries anyone but the man who can bleed for 100 years and not die, she sentences her soul to outer darkness. But the Regent has given her only a week before the marriage is to take place. If she refuses, she will be hanged.
While Alaric has been dealing with matters of state, Irellis the Magician has been searching for a Mirror his magician-predecessors created. Legend has it that a Mirror was made long ago that could control time itself. But then the two creators had a falling-out, and one melted down the Glass and fled, never to be heard of or seen again. The other kept the Frame, which retained only a fraction of its power. After searching for___ (days? Months? Years?) Irrelis finally discovers the ancient Frame; it has the power to see into past, present, and future, but Irrelis can only get it to show him dim pictures, because it takes royal blood to really see. (In time past the magicians were only in the royal class.)
Alaric is the obvious answer, but Alaric is too busy with affairs in the northern duchies to listen to fairy stories, and won’t pay attention.
The state in the north is critical. Alaric goes on a visit of state, but the people are only kept from killing him by the persuasion of a nobleman named Kral, who claims he is the rightful heir to the throne. The Northern Duchies believe him.
Alaric listens to Irrelis and looks into the Mirror, but is hurried and apparently pays no attention, however, the sight he saw of Isella remains with him, and he (maybe?) comes back to look/interpret for Irrelis. He and Isella can sense each other. He can see her and she can feel and/or hear him. Isella lives 100 years in the future. [this part is not well developed. Ideas welcome.]
~~~
Isella sets out to find the wizard of E’Nore, hopeful that he can help her out of the death-death situation, but the journey is long, and her tell-tale auburn hair is difficult to conceal. Plus, when meeting new people it is hard to keep her tremoring a secret.
The king and Alaric decide that forcing the coronation date will solve the problems in the North. Far from it. Kral and the northern duchies think otherwise and sabotage the coronation. Kral declares himself king, makes Alaric’s father an unwilling vassal and imprisons Alaric. The Southern Duchies are horrified but afraid to act, knowing that the Northerners won’t hesitate to shed blood—fulfilling the prophecy and causing the collapse of the kingdom where they enjoy so much prosperity.
~~~
Isella finds the wizard and finally gets the answers she’s looking for: when the Mirror was separated, the Glass was liquified and drunk by one of the inventors’ children. Since then, the power of the Glass has been running in the veins of his descendants, passed from one to another without dilution. Only certain people in have the power manifested in the way Isella has it. Those whose power stays hidden or semi-manifested may become Energy Wielders (like Voltemand). The Wielder of the Glass has a unique connection to time and can feel every single person who enters or leaves time through a series of tremors. They also have the ability to pause and bend time for short periods, and have a connection to the Mirror’s Frame—hence her ability to sense Alaric. The Glass and the Frame can be fused again, causing the Mirror to be restored and giving the wielder of the Mirror complete control over time. However, this would cause the death of the one who carries the Glass.
Irrelis, Voltemand and Tullian break Alaric out of prison. They know the history of the mirror and Isella’s role in it, and think that if they can locate Isella they will be able to manipulate time and undo the trouble Kral has caused.
~~
Isella sets out to find the Frame, certain that if she can get together with it she will have something to threaten the Regent with, or at least be released from the tremors that continue to haunt her every second.
Kral steals the Mirror and interrogates Alaric’s father, who knows nothing. With royal blood in his veins, Kral is able to see with the Mirror and discovers the connection between Isella, time, and the Mirror. Alaric & Co. rush in to save the Mirror, only to find Kral sending Alaric’s father through the Mirror. He himself prepares to follow. Alaric tries to stop him. In the fight, Kral gets a cut on his arm, but Alaric is run through.
Kral jumps through the Mirror–taking the information he needs with him, the cut on his arm allowing him to be the man that “can bleed for 100 years and not die”– and he is transported to Isella’s time. Those who pass through the mirror appear as people who already exist in the time they are traveling to. Kral appears as the Regent. He has only to claim his engagement to Isella, and all his plots are complete. [originally, Kral was a shapeshifter and shapeshifted into the Regent, so to dispense with the necessity of appearing as someone else yadda yadda.]
…but Irrelis discovers something about Alaric’s wound. The knife Kral used was poisoned; the wound itself is not deadly. Irrelis puts Alaric to sleep with a spell that will cause him to sleep until awakened by a kiss. When kissed by the woman who loves him, the poison will lose its potency of hatred and he will survive. [that, or true Sleeping-Beauty style Irrelis is just able to put him to sleep instead of him dying.]
They arrange that Irrelis and Tullian will stay with Alaric in an enchanted sleep, while Voltemand jumps through the Mirror to try and find Isella and point her to where Alaric lies sleeping.
Isella feels the tremors tear through her veins as Alaric “dies”, and Voltemand appears to tell her that he is dead unless she can save him.
They hurry to where Voltemand left the Mirror (Now that event is 100 years in the past). It is now dilapidated and dangerous, but they make it to the uppermost tower where Alaric, Irrelis, and Tullian sleep, and Isella hurries to kiss him, a man who has bled for 100 years and is not dead. On the instant, Kral appears and shows that he, too, has bled for 100 years and is not dead (cut on his arm). He also still has his dagger, whereas Alaric’s disintegrated over the 100-year period he was asleep. Kral further threatens that if any of them kill him they will break the Prophacy of Reantáre and immediately die (when in actuality he thwarted the prophecy. He fulfilled it by killing Alaric, but escaped death by jumping through the Mirror). [Okay, major question: Why does Kral need to threaten them with supposedly breaking the prophecy? Can’t he just be like “hahaha, I have a dagger and you don’t! It seems a might too complicated anyway, in an already complicated story. Also, does the whole “bleed for 100 years and not die” thing have to be there? Kral doesn’t want to marry Isella, he wants to fuse her with the mirror so he can be all-powerful over time. Oh, yeah. He wants to marry Isella because then he will be king of Archendale. But wouldn’t having power over time be more useful? He could be king that way, too.]
While talking all this twaddle, Tullian sneaks up behind him and puts him into some sort of Empath-related trance—mind meld or sleep or something, but it requires him to concentrate fully.
In the few seconds he’s holding Kral motionless, Isella and Alaric decide that she will fuse the Mirror. With the ability to control time, they will be able to thrust him back to the moment he killed Alaric and hold him there until he is annihilated by breaking the prophecy.
Isella steps into the Mirror and begins the fuse, but Tullian the Empath, who physically feels others’ emotions can’t stand her pain, knocks her out of the way, releasing Kral. But it is apparently too late. Isella is dying of the burns inflicted by the partial fusion.
Kral, sees that all his chances are slipping with Isella, flies into a rage and begins hacking at them with his sword. Alaric jumps at him to keep him from killing one of the others, and Kral’s swing goes wild, striking the shattering the Frame. As the Mirror disintegrates, everyone who jumped through it disintegrates, too, including Kral, King Joseph, and Voltemand. As Voltemand is disintegrating, he uses his power as an Energy-Wielder to heal Isella (he shares the Glass gene, but it was inactive with him.)
Everyone else lives happily ever after.
Questions: Are there too many prophecies? Does Isella’s spell thing (she can only marry the man who has bled for 100 years and not died) add anything or only subtract?
Does Voltemand having the inactive version of the Glass Gene make sense? Does it hold together? Does it create a deus-et-machina?
Does the whole thing make sense? Does it hang together? Do you have any suggestions?
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comIDK if this is necessary, but I’m gonna tag those who have been active in this thread in case nobody sees it. Feel free to NOT answer this post y’all, because it’s a monster of a post!
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comIt is rather complex. I do like the 100 year bleeding prophecy because it seems improbable and then to have two technically fulfill it brings great conflict and intruigue that I think brings great captivation interest to your story. I don’t really think there are too many prophecies, but it’s all in how you write it. You could even perhaps have one of your characters make note or make fun of how many prophecies there are. Sometimes that is a great way to mask things like that – having the characters inside the story itself point out the extremes in a way that makes something that would typically be overdoing it acceptable, since the characters in the story are thinking the same thing as those reading the book. … if that makes sense…
the question about voltemand, hard for me to follow it as just going off of the synopsis provided, but depending upon how you write it, I think it can definitely work for you.
The plot is so complicated! Do you plan on making all this one book? If so, I’d imagine it’d be a rather long book?
The one thing that didn’t make too much sense to me is, if killing not only leads to the one who killed dying, but also the destruction of the whole country, why would they want to hold Kral until he disentegrates for killing someone?
“With the ability to control time, they will be able to thrust him back to the moment he killed Alaric and hold him there until he is annihilated by breaking the prophecy.”
wouldn’t that not destroy the country too?
Christianity has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried. ~ G.K.C.
Oh, fyi… I really REALLY love your story line! Would love to read it once you’re finished writing it!
Christianity has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried. ~ G.K.C.
@jared-williams thanks so much for reading and commenting! I am gratified that you didn’t tear it apart. I think that it will be less complicated in book form than in synopsis form. I thought about doing two books, but that would force me to alter the entire synopsis, making two story arcs inside of this big one. Do you think it is too complicated?
Yes, having the characters comment on it makes perfect sense!
Ah, yes! I actually have an answer to that: By killing Alaric (I’m gonna ditch the poison idea and have the wound itself be mortal, but Irrelis circumvented it by magic) Kral fulfilled the prophecy, which would cause his own death and the fall of Reantare. He tricked death by jumping through the Frame, but with no royalty left, the kingdom of Reantare did indeed fall, and now is replaced by Archendale, the kingdom that sprang out of it. (Just like Rome sprang out of Alexander the Great’s kingdom, only vica versa because Reantare was a greater kingdom than Archendale).
Does that make sense?
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.com
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