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A People-Pleaser Needs Advice…

Forums Fiction General Writing Discussions A People-Pleaser Needs Advice…

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  • #32688
    J. Dekreel
    @dekreel

    This might be a no-brainer to you, but I just discovered this about myself last week: It turns out, I’m a huge people-pleaser. I love using my creative abilities to directly acknowledge other people. And I’ve been doing it ALL my life! As a kid, whenever I sat with some friends at church during a sermon, I would pass the time drawing said friends, and showing it to them afterwards.

    And when I became a Kapeefer I quickly wanted to make a story about the other Kapeefers (KPA)! It’s also the same reason that I enjoy drawing y’all’s characters, and that I made those Josiah/Daniel memes, the KP stick figure panorama, and possibly one or two other KP-themed pieces, as well as Aetherlight roleplays and art.

    But enough bumbling, here’s my problem: I’m putting almost all of my abilities and inspiration into making those “direct acknowledgements,” and almost none into original stories. (Okay, I guess it’s more of a NUISANCE than a problem…) I think that’s why I practically have no WIP! Because I’m using that time to make KP and Aetherlight things.

    So, after all that (possibly useless) explanation, my question is: How to I transfer that motivation, time and ability to working on something original? Thoughts?


    @daeus-lamb
      @snapper  @sam-kowal  @gabriellepollack  @morreafirebird  @josiah  @anyone

    ENFP-T. Cartoonist, "half-writer", wolfish.
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    #32692
    Anonymous

    @dekreel Is it hard for you to write stories about people you make up, that are not real?

    #32693
    Sam Kowal
    @sam-kowal

    @dekreel Well, first off, creating things for other people can be amazing and make some of their moments a lot brighter. That being said, it is  important to also have your own identity and create your own things.

    One important thing is finding confidence in your own work; basically, recognizing that you have your own ideas and stories worth telling, and that those are special to you. That kind of confidence is being assured that even if you create something that other people don’t like, and knowing that, still find meaning in it yourself, your work is worth something. That can help you branch out on your own.

    Another point I often find myself struggling with is that I like creating things for other people simply because I’m not as hard on myself about it, and can be more relaxed. Basically, when I’m working on my main work, I think ‘Embers, this is my main work. This needs to be good’ and I pick it apart and can’t relax. Whereas creating things for others is easier and at the same time seems please them more quickly.

    The thing to remember here is that our WIPs are, well… works in progress. They aren’t done yet. As we create them, we learn more about them and about ourselves and they become polished by that. It’s okay if they aren’t perfect at first as long as we believe in them.

    Lastly, things that aren’t necessarily created for other people specifically can still please those people. For example, the authors who write the great books that please us aren’t thinking specifically of us when they write. If you take your ideas and hone them into something great, they can please people that way. A lot of the fiction that people on Story Embers have written is inspiring and pleasing, even though it isn’t specifically about us.

    Anyway, Stan is howling that I’m taking too long with this. Hopefully, this could help a little bit…:)

    *nom, nom, nom* *eats donuts*
    Oh, are you hungry? *begins weeping*
    I would have saved you one!

    #32761
    Gabrielle Pollack
    @gabriellepollack

    I gotta agree with @Sam-kowel. Realizing your own work is valuable is important.

    I also think setting a goal for yourself is important as well. It can help dictate what you decide to do and what you prioritize. If you’d like to publish a book within a certain timeframe, you’re going to put writing that book before doing other things.

    In theory. 😉 Anyway, figuring out what you really want to do with writing may help you decide what’s valuable enough to pursue and what’s not.

    #32856
    Daeus Lamb
    @daeus-lamb

    @dekreel Hmm. I feel you. Not that I create art for specific people, but I am a people pleaser and sometimes that can be just awful.

    Like others have said, don’t believe automatically that creating art just to please others is a bad thing. I think the people who sacrifice of themselves to do little things just for us are often the people who have the most impact on our lives. Maybe God can use this for you to be a bright light to those around you.

    That said, you seem to think this is an issue of people pleasing. Well, that’s also quite possible. In this case, you’re probably feeling insecure. Making people happy is a way to fill that hole and make yourself feel valuable. You don’t need to please others to be valuable though. You’re already valuable.

    If you think writing novels is where God is calling you, I can bet you that that mission is going to be very fulfilling. I think you should start there. Just realize that whatever God has planned for you is going to be fulfilling and you don’t need to find fulfillment in others.

    😀
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    #32880
    K.M. Small
    @morreafirebird

    @dekreel I echo everything that Sam, Gabby, and Daeus have said. To add my own thoughts, I’d start by saying it’s totally okay to get inspiration from other people/things. There’s nothing wrong with writing fanfiction, as it is still storytelling and still a really cool thing to do. Even “original” works are still inspired by other works, and that’s totally okay.

    I’m not sure if there’s a step by step process to writing an original story, but I think all stories/works are inspired by God, and He gives them to us through the inspiration of the world around. There’s no formula or specific things you can do to make Him give you a great idea: it will just come. In the meantime, perhaps focus on things that interest you. What sort of story ideas do you really, really love? It doesn’t matter if they’re cliched or already done before. If you like them, that’s great. Then think of what you would do if you could write a story like that, and start playing around with it. Like Gabby mentioned, setting aside a specific time to work on that project could be helpful.

    I’ll finish by saying that I definitely struggle with being a people-pleaser too. Not in what I write, but in helping people: I feel like I always have to do it so they’ll be pleased with me. It’s been a big struggle to let that go and clear my motivations so I’m helping these people because I love them as brothers and sisters in Christ, not because I want them to like me.

    I think God’s going to do some amazing things through you, Dekreel <3

    ~ Khylie
    "Beauty will save the world." - Dostoevsky

    #33987
    Jenna Terese
    @jenwriter17

    @dekreel Everyone gave great advice, so I don’t have much to add. Just think about the joy you can bring people through your words. 🙂

    By the way, I appreciate that you always want to do things for others 😉 <3

    "If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write." -Martin Luther
    www.jennaterese.com

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