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#49814
Libby
@libby

@evelyn Of course not 🙂

Mom and Dad went on a date

And left us on our own,

To scour pantries for some food

And make our meals alone.

Between “scour” and “pantries”, perhaps you might want to add a “the”.  It all depends on if you say “scour” with two syllables or one.

Sally made a smoothie snack,

Using greens and berries,

Added glops of peanut butter,

Then some chopped-up cherries.

On the last line, right before “then”, I think adding an “and” might aid the flow and cadence of your stanza.

Alice didn’t care that much,

She just ate lunch’s food left-over,

With a book in one hand and a fork in the other,

As the last page grew closer and closer.

On the third line, the “with” seems like it hinders just the slightest bit the flow of your this stanza.  Maybe getting rid of it would make it easier to read.

For ice cream was all they left,

No spinach greens or celery sticks,

And so poor old me, I tell you,

Had no other choice in this awful, terrible fix!

One last thing. 🙂 I think either “awful” or “terrible” would be good, but maybe not both.  It sort of jars the rhythm a little.

All of these things are just suggestions.  You don’t have to take them 😉 I love your poem just as it is, and I’m so glad you posted it 😀
Just a side note, I really loved your fifth stanza.  Even though it didn’t fit the rest of the rhythm, it’s perfect as it is.  And very expressive! 🙂

"Young people, you must pray, for your passions are strong and your wisdom is little."C.H.Spurgeon

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