Reply To: Post the first paragraph of your WIP here and get feedback

Forums Fiction General Writing Discussions Post the first paragraph of your WIP here and get feedback Reply To: Post the first paragraph of your WIP here and get feedback

#40245
Sarah Inkdragon
@sarah-inkdragon

Hello again everyone! I’m back with the first few paragraphs of a romance WIP I’m plotting, still unnamed. It’s about a shape-shifting prince and a human princess, with plenty of political intrigue, mistaken identities, a masked ball, and soul colors. Anyhow, here you are:

The person I’m about to tell you about is possibly the nicest, kindest, most fiery and willful person on the face of the earth.

I hate her with an equally as fiery passion.

Why? Simple–she is human. Everything we hate.

Everything we aren’t.

She is Tasmania de Exceleste, the heir of the human race.

And I? I am Ryul de Tsuko, the son of King Rorik de Tsuko, lord of the Mountains of Day and Night. I am the Pale Soul. The next in a line of greats, the one and only heir of the king and the second greatest shape-shifter mage in the world.

And this world? This world is the world of the War of Day and Night.

What do you think? I want a slightly biased and prejudiced feel, with some satire, as well as a bit of foreboding towards the end. So go, and butcher it, my wee dragons. 😉

"A hard heart is no infallible protection against a soft head."

- C. S. Lewis

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