Reply To: No idea where else to post this, but I need help

Forums Fiction General Writing Discussions No idea where else to post this, but I need help Reply To: No idea where else to post this, but I need help

Ethan Leonard


Nah you’re good lol

Ok thank you, I’ll definitely look him up.

Yeah I’d agree there. That is what I was thinking of doing , stuff like ‘He swore viciously’

Yeah…the MC is not a cold blooded killer, but one of his Squadmates (who is an important figure) is. Jackson is more like ‘I do it because I have to’


btw here is a very long basic synopsis (actually…it’s more in-depth than basic…)




Jackson Barrett and his squad are in Blackhawk helicopters, on their way to an enemy position. As they land, they move in on an apparently empty house. Jackson leads two fire teams in, while Corporal Miles leads the sniper team. Jackson and his fire team clear the house, and capture a man as he tries to run away in an armored truck. Getting back to the helicopters as more insurgents arrive, they leave with their prize.




Jackson, Miles, and Steven Beck interrogate Abd al-Aziz at their base. He refuses to cooperate, even with bribes. When Steven gets rough on him, Miles gets him to back off, but that was all that was  needed for him to reveal that there was a massive underground bunker filled with hundreds of soldiers, supplies, weapons, ammunition, and prisons, complete with prisoners. Miles, Jackson, and Steven instantly take this info to intelligence.


One day, word comes down the chain that a raid is being planned on this bunker. Miles brings word that their squad had been picked to lead the assault. The squad meets this with mixed reactions. Jackson takes it as another mission, Steven is enthusiastic about getting another shot at the enemy, with the remainder ranging from happy to eh about it.


The squad begins rehearsals for the attack. The plan is to enter the bunker through a maintenance hatch, proceed directly to the prisons, free all the prisoners and get them to safety. Then Jackson will lead a fire team to the magazine, and rig the whole thing with explosives. Before setting it off, they will provide a distraction as another squad captures the main command center. There, they will capture personnel and as much info as possible. Then all squads will pull out and the magazine will be detonated, which should destroy the place. Then all squads will fall back to the rendezvous point, where the helicopters will pick them up.


The day before the mission begins, Miles and Jackson chat about this mission. Jackson expresses doubts that they will survive this, but Miles reminds him that they are Marines. Jackson counters that they are, but even the best can die. Miles reminds him that they are doing this to stop things like this from happening back home. Jackson agrees, and the two go and join the rest in prepping for the mission.




At 0400, four squads take off in four Chinook helicopters and escorted by two Apache helicopters. They arrive at the drop off and disembark with no problems. Two of the squads proceed to an overlook, where they will provide cover fire if need be and communications back to base, while Miles’ squad and the second squad proceed to the maintenance hatch. They infiltrate the city with no problems, avoiding encounters with insurgents and civilians. Pretty soon they reach the maintenance hatch. The squads slowly enter, with Miles and Jackson’s fire team entering first. Once they are inside, they proceed to the prisons. They avoid encounters all along the way, and pretty soon they reach the prisons. They break down the door to the guard room. In there, there are three insurgents lounging in the room. A quick fight ensues, with Jackson and his men getting the upper hand really quickly. Once they are subdued, they take the keys and free the prisoners in the cells. They then imprison the guards they captured, and proceed back to the maintenance hatch.


Meanwhile, the other squad proceeds to the command center. When they reach the storage cabinet where they will wait for the signal, they hide in there. Soon an insurgent comes in, with the squad instantly taking him out. A soldier who comes in a bit later is also taken out, but he manages to alert several others nearby. They proceed to investigate, and are hunted down one by one in the storage hold. Suddenly they are contacted by Miles who alerts them that they have planted the explosives without problem and are ready in position to create the diversion. They instantly respond, and start towards the command center.


Miles, meanwhile, leads his squad towards the main hanger for the vehicles. When they reach the hanger, they proceed to sneak among the trucks and plant explosives among them. Then they sneak back towards a firing position they had picked. A flash-bang ( a grenade that releases a bright flash of light with a small amount of explosive power) is set off, drawing insurgents. Steven then detonates all the explosives, which draws more. Jackson and his squad are soon engaged in a firefight with nearly 150 insurgents. When the other squad radios that they are ready, they start pulling out. Once they are out of the maintenance hatch, they wait till the other squad joins them. Then they proceed to the rendezvous point. Along the way, Daniel steps on a land mine. Dying in Miles’ arms, the explosion alerts hundreds of insurgents to their position. In the ensuing firefight, the squads rush into an abandoned building, where they set up positions. As they battle, Miles is shot by a sniper. As he dies, he transfers command of the mission to Jackson. Jackson decides that they need to get out, and quickly. Fortunately, the insurgents fall back slightly to resupply, and Jackson and Edward Faulkner head up to the roof to find a way out. Seeing one, they begin planning a way of escape. As they begin prepping to move, the insurgents come back in force. Almost instantly, they nail several of the Marines. Jackson begins leading the retreat, and Steven sacrifices himself to not only cover them on their way out, but he also sets off the explosives, destroying the enemy bunker.


Once clear of the building, they rush off and the building explodes from a mortar attack. Flak from the mortars kills another Marine and injures another. Running, Jackson leads the squads to the safety of a nearby building. There, they instantly take positions and wait. But no insurgents showed up….until one of the snipers from the other squad with them reveals himself after nailing an insurgent. Then hundreds of insurgents pour onto their position. In the ensuing gun battle, Jackson realizes that the insurgents haven’t completely surrounded them. Directing the squads to leave, Jackson remains to draw off the insurgents’ fire. He fights them off for quite a while, when suddenly several insurgents blast through the door. Jackson engages them in hand-to-hand combat, killing all but one. The last on knocks Jackson down to the ground, but right before he can kill Jackson, Edward come back and kills him. He then helps Jackson leave the building.


They rejoin with the squads, and begin a pull-out from the city. They are almost to the hills when an insurgent spots them, and he alerts others to the Marines’ positions. As insurgents follow them, shooting, Jackson calls in an air strike. They reach the hill where they will rendezvous with the helicopter. Then they engage in a fierce gunfight. When it seems that Jackson and his squads are about to die, an A-10 squadron comes in low and attacks the insurgents. Soon the helicopters arrive, but as they load onto them an insurgent trains a missile at them. Noticing it, Jackson starts yelling shooting at him. He then dives at the insurgent, tackling him as he launches the missile. The missile goes wide, and Jackson engages in a fist fight. It seems like the insurgent is about to kill Jackson when the rest of his fire team arrives, who finish the insurgent off. They then board the helicopter and take off.




Jackson and his platoon are standing in a large tent. There they are awarded for their bravery and heroics. Jackson himself is awarded a Silver Star for Valor in Combat. The members who died are commemorated, and Jackson is promoted to Platoon Leader. (Lieutenant).


If you have anything you’d suggest to add or would suggest to take out, please, let me know.

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