Okay, folks! I have a REALLY long post (it’s under the 2000 word limit, but barely.) It’s the synopsis for a Sleeping Beauty Retelling with role reversals (so Sleeping Beauty is a guy, and the “prince” that kisses her (now him) is a princess)
Alaric studies hard, pouring all his hopes and efforts into one day being king of Reantáre. His birthday looms close, bringing with it the day when King Joseph will crown his son and they will rule jointly. His days are full of studying, visits of state, diplomacies. He has little time for the friends he once loved to roam with, and makes himself believe he has even less. We see him greeting peasants, being polite, but not thoughtful; forgetting his three friends, Irrelis the Magician, Tullian the Empath, and Voltemand the Energy-Wielder.
~~
Isella Aumardel never wanted to be a princess. She was happy with her life just short of nobility. True, she was a distant relation to the king of Archendale, but it was so far removed that being in line for the throne was an impossibility. Until It happened. Every heir to the throne disappeared or died in a series of mysterious events that Isella knows cannot be happenstance. The Regent has too much to gain from these “coincidences” for it to be that.
Now she is left alone. Sad, dispirited, and sometimes afraid, her only companion the never-ending tremoring that pulses through her veins. It’s been there for as long as she can remember; sometimes better, sometimes worse. If her family knew anything about it, they never told her; they only said again and again that she must tell no one. “Never tell them,” was what her father had said as they took him away. He had told her to go to the wizard of E’Nore for answers. She thinks it has something to do with people dying.
The southern area of Reantáre is made up of wealthy landholders and merchants, but in the northern duchies the land is less fertile, and the sea is farther away, making the people in the north mostly poor cattle ranchers or miners. For years the people in the north have been unsettled and the royal family has tried to keep the peace and to ease the suffering of the north, but to no avail. Recently, the northern duchies have grown more restless, crying for more and more welfare-style handouts, which has caused the royal family no little anxiety: everyone in the kingdom has been taught since birth the ancient prophecy that the first person to shed blood will perish, and destroy the entire kingdom of Reantáre.
Then, with the coronation only two weeks away, the unthinkable happens. The northern duchies revolt. The dukes are hiding in their castles for fear of the peasants, and rioting breaks out in the streets.
~~
Isella is brought before the Regent and told that as princess of Reantáre, she is engaged to mary him, whether she will or nill: that’s the reason she was spared from the genocide of the nobility. This gives Isella a huge problem, because there is burdened with a spell, placed on her by the wizard of E’Nore: if she marries anyone but the man who can bleed for 100 years and not die, she sentences her soul to outer darkness. But the Regent has given her only a week before the marriage is to take place. If she refuses, she will be hanged.
While Alaric has been dealing with matters of state, Irellis the Magician has been searching for a Mirror his magician-predecessors created. Legend has it that a Mirror was made long ago that could control time itself. But then the two creators had a falling-out, and one melted down the Glass and fled, never to be heard of or seen again. The other kept the Frame, which retained only a fraction of its power. After searching for___ (days? Months? Years?) Irrelis finally discovers the ancient Frame; it has the power to see into past, present, and future, but Irrelis can only get it to show him dim pictures, because it takes royal blood to really see. (In time past the magicians were only in the royal class.)
Alaric is the obvious answer, but Alaric is too busy with affairs in the northern duchies to listen to fairy stories, and won’t pay attention.
The state in the north is critical. Alaric goes on a visit of state, but the people are only kept from killing him by the persuasion of a nobleman named Kral, who claims he is the rightful heir to the throne. The Northern Duchies believe him.
Alaric listens to Irrelis and looks into the Mirror, but is hurried and apparently pays no attention, however, the sight he saw of Isella remains with him, and he (maybe?) comes back to look/interpret for Irrelis. He and Isella can sense each other. He can see her and she can feel and/or hear him. Isella lives 100 years in the future. [this part is not well developed. Ideas welcome.]
~~~
Isella sets out to find the wizard of E’Nore, hopeful that he can help her out of the death-death situation, but the journey is long, and her tell-tale auburn hair is difficult to conceal. Plus, when meeting new people it is hard to keep her tremoring a secret.
The king and Alaric decide that forcing the coronation date will solve the problems in the North. Far from it. Kral and the northern duchies think otherwise and sabotage the coronation. Kral declares himself king, makes Alaric’s father an unwilling vassal and imprisons Alaric. The Southern Duchies are horrified but afraid to act, knowing that the Northerners won’t hesitate to shed blood—fulfilling the prophecy and causing the collapse of the kingdom where they enjoy so much prosperity.
~~~
Isella finds the wizard and finally gets the answers she’s looking for: when the Mirror was separated, the Glass was liquified and drunk by one of the inventors’ children. Since then, the power of the Glass has been running in the veins of his descendants, passed from one to another without dilution. Only certain people in have the power manifested in the way Isella has it. Those whose power stays hidden or semi-manifested may become Energy Wielders (like Voltemand). The Wielder of the Glass has a unique connection to time and can feel every single person who enters or leaves time through a series of tremors. They also have the ability to pause and bend time for short periods, and have a connection to the Mirror’s Frame—hence her ability to sense Alaric. The Glass and the Frame can be fused again, causing the Mirror to be restored and giving the wielder of the Mirror complete control over time. However, this would cause the death of the one who carries the Glass.
Irrelis, Voltemand and Tullian break Alaric out of prison. They know the history of the mirror and Isella’s role in it, and think that if they can locate Isella they will be able to manipulate time and undo the trouble Kral has caused.
~~
Isella sets out to find the Frame, certain that if she can get together with it she will have something to threaten the Regent with, or at least be released from the tremors that continue to haunt her every second.
Kral steals the Mirror and interrogates Alaric’s father, who knows nothing. With royal blood in his veins, Kral is able to see with the Mirror and discovers the connection between Isella, time, and the Mirror. Alaric & Co. rush in to save the Mirror, only to find Kral sending Alaric’s father through the Mirror. He himself prepares to follow. Alaric tries to stop him. In the fight, Kral gets a cut on his arm, but Alaric is run through.
Kral jumps through the Mirror–taking the information he needs with him, the cut on his arm allowing him to be the man that “can bleed for 100 years and not die”– and he is transported to Isella’s time. Those who pass through the mirror appear as people who already exist in the time they are traveling to. Kral appears as the Regent. He has only to claim his engagement to Isella, and all his plots are complete. [originally, Kral was a shapeshifter and shapeshifted into the Regent, so to dispense with the necessity of appearing as someone else yadda yadda.]
…but Irrelis discovers something about Alaric’s wound. The knife Kral used was poisoned; the wound itself is not deadly. Irrelis puts Alaric to sleep with a spell that will cause him to sleep until awakened by a kiss. When kissed by the woman who loves him, the poison will lose its potency of hatred and he will survive. [that, or true Sleeping-Beauty style Irrelis is just able to put him to sleep instead of him dying.]
They arrange that Irrelis and Tullian will stay with Alaric in an enchanted sleep, while Voltemand jumps through the Mirror to try and find Isella and point her to where Alaric lies sleeping.
Isella feels the tremors tear through her veins as Alaric “dies”, and Voltemand appears to tell her that he is dead unless she can save him.
They hurry to where Voltemand left the Mirror (Now that event is 100 years in the past). It is now dilapidated and dangerous, but they make it to the uppermost tower where Alaric, Irrelis, and Tullian sleep, and Isella hurries to kiss him, a man who has bled for 100 years and is not dead. On the instant, Kral appears and shows that he, too, has bled for 100 years and is not dead (cut on his arm). He also still has his dagger, whereas Alaric’s disintegrated over the 100-year period he was asleep. Kral further threatens that if any of them kill him they will break the Prophacy of Reantáre and immediately die (when in actuality he thwarted the prophecy. He fulfilled it by killing Alaric, but escaped death by jumping through the Mirror). [Okay, major question: Why does Kral need to threaten them with supposedly breaking the prophecy? Can’t he just be like “hahaha, I have a dagger and you don’t! It seems a might too complicated anyway, in an already complicated story. Also, does the whole “bleed for 100 years and not die” thing have to be there? Kral doesn’t want to marry Isella, he wants to fuse her with the mirror so he can be all-powerful over time. Oh, yeah. He wants to marry Isella because then he will be king of Archendale. But wouldn’t having power over time be more useful? He could be king that way, too.]
While talking all this twaddle, Tullian sneaks up behind him and puts him into some sort of Empath-related trance—mind meld or sleep or something, but it requires him to concentrate fully.
In the few seconds he’s holding Kral motionless, Isella and Alaric decide that she will fuse the Mirror. With the ability to control time, they will be able to thrust him back to the moment he killed Alaric and hold him there until he is annihilated by breaking the prophecy.
Isella steps into the Mirror and begins the fuse, but Tullian the Empath, who physically feels others’ emotions can’t stand her pain, knocks her out of the way, releasing Kral. But it is apparently too late. Isella is dying of the burns inflicted by the partial fusion.
Kral, sees that all his chances are slipping with Isella, flies into a rage and begins hacking at them with his sword. Alaric jumps at him to keep him from killing one of the others, and Kral’s swing goes wild, striking the shattering the Frame. As the Mirror disintegrates, everyone who jumped through it disintegrates, too, including Kral, King Joseph, and Voltemand. As Voltemand is disintegrating, he uses his power as an Energy-Wielder to heal Isella (he shares the Glass gene, but it was inactive with him.)
Everyone else lives happily ever after.
Questions: Are there too many prophecies? Does Isella’s spell thing (she can only marry the man who has bled for 100 years and not died) add anything or only subtract?
Does Voltemand having the inactive version of the Glass Gene make sense? Does it hold together? Does it create a deus-et-machina?
Does the whole thing make sense? Does it hang together? Do you have any suggestions?
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
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