I may need to clarify something that often gets misunderstood.
I very much agree with Noah (@noah-cochran) with the biblical standard is God’s design that works to the optimization of how He created the family to function.
I think there is a problem sometimes in how we as opposite genders treat each other with less respect and love than we ought to. Both men and women have certain natural propensities, however, that, by no means, implies that they do not have shared interests that might be relegated traditionally to one gender or another.
Some girls are rough and tumble, and may work every bit as hard in manual labor in dirt and grime as any man, but that does not diminish their femininity. Women often worked the fields alongside the men. Remember the story of Ruth? Look at the industry and skill of the attributes of the Proverbs 31 woman. Many might find her skills far exceed that of what might have been once considered a “traditional role”, but she is learned, can assess the value of a field, has sharp merchant skills, has deft and honed craftsmanship in her production and appears to be such a compliment to her husband that the men of the city recognize her value, and hold her husband in high-respect enough to set in prominence at the gate of the city, because of her. She is praised as every bit his equal, and brings him honor and respect because of the kind of reputation she has and her management skill.
A female might often have a sense of caution and feeling about a person, that her husband might be considering doing business with, and that sense of what the relationship with that person portends might serve her husband well to heed her cautions. Even Pilate’s wife demonstrated that sense when her husband was debating about what to do with Jesus.
God intends both men and women to live with each other in harmony, not as competitors.
God does hold each gender accountable for certain roles which He put upon them.
God expects the male to be the physical protector in the home and occupy the defense role for those under his care. Jesus clearly refers to this role when He refers to the “strong man” in the following instances:
Or else how can one enter into a strong man’s house, and spoil his goods, except he first bind the strong man? and then he will spoil his house. [Matthew 12:29 KJV]
No man can enter into a strong man’s house, and spoil his goods, except he will first bind the strong man; and then he will spoil his house. [Mark 3:27 KJV]
When a strong man armed keepeth his palace, his goods are in peace: [Luke 11:21 KJV]
The scriptures also refer to the male role as “provider” in Paul’s admonition to Timothy:
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. [1 Timothy 5:8 KJV]
Biblically, “effeminate males” are listed as being among the “unrighteous practices” that God condemns and expects these practices to be no longer followed among those sanctified by Him.
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. [1 Corinthians 6:9-11 KJV]
But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; [Ephesians 5:3 KJV]
The presence of Jesus living within the hearts of His children will be evidenced by the turning away from detestable practices.
Men need to return to taking responsibility for what God expects them to be. Fathers that love, protect and provide for their families. That show a tender and understanding heart towards their wives, valuing them, respecting them, praising them and protecting them, not just physically but reputationally.
So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. [Ephesians 5:28 NKJV]
Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. [Colossians 3:19 NKJV]
Husbands, likewise, dwell with [them] with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as [being] heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. [1 Peter 3:7 NKJV]
A man that pleases God will shepherd and lovingly put his wife in a place of honor, and be the spiritual leader in their home, not shirking his responsibility in faith, as he seeks to follow Christ’s example.
A man should love his children and encourage them in loving training desiring the best for them as defined by God’s standard, rather than that of the world.
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. [Ephesians 6:4 NKJV]
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. [Colossians 3:21 NKJV]
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. [Proverbs 22:6 NKJV]
“You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. [Deuteronomy 6:7 NKJV]
“You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. [Deuteronomy 11:19 NKJV]
A woman can either grant her husband the respected role of authority in the home, or undermine it.
She affirms his role as an act of respect. He affirms her as the cherished bride whom he will lay down his life for out of love and appreciation for her. They belong to each other in oneness as God joins them in matrimony, as long as they defer to Christ as the example they strive to honor first and foremost. This family forms the basis for mutual nuturing and the giving of each to the innate needs of the other.
To love his wife as his own body, the man must seek her best. The courtship depicted in the Song of Solomon shows the interplay of mutual love within the roles of each gender.
Both honor each other in feeling secure in mutual trust enough to confide in one another.
I think the worldly views of modernism have disrupted God’s design by pitting genders against one another. Satan is the dissembler and wants homes broken, and therefore society to crumble because it no longer has foundational adhesion.
A mother is as essential as a father for a child’s upbringing. There is a balance that is needed. A daughter needs to know what kind of man will treat her with the selfless love she needs to understand what she should seek in a prospective future mate. A young boy needs to learn how to defer and protect a woman, as he witnesses how his father treats his mother, so that he can model that behavior when he looks for a mate. From his mother, he needs to learn how she responds differently from how his father responds to life circumstances so that he can live with his future wife with an understanding that allows for differences in perspective from his own thinking.
Personalities differ from person to person, and these personality differences are too often relegated to definitions categorized by gender by mankind’s assumptions rather than God’s.
I absolutely loathe the biological males entering women’s sports to take unfair advantage of female competitors. I loathe the gender confusion promulgated by sexual perverts attempting to switch their genders. I loathe these cross-dressing males gaining access to young children to normalize their perversion under the guise of reading storybooks. These practices are detestable in God’s eyes, and I will not back down from that assertion.
I think women do need to learn to defend themselves but whatever means are necessary for we live in a brutal and fallen world. I have no patience for effeminate males, and I am wholly disgusted by their behaviors, for I look upon them as cowards, and irresponsible with regard to the roles God has called them too.
I believe a male should protect females, for they are essential to our survival as a society and a species, under God’s order. I think a woman should have confidence in her husband’s commitment to safeguarding her person, and that she knows that he will do his utmost to keep her and their children from harm.
I think a man is obligated to be obedient to hear from God daily, to seek His direction for the protection of his home, and to operate in accordance with a self-sacrificial love for those he is charged to protect.
I believe a male who strikes a woman, is no man at all and should be scorned by male society and punished for his actions.
Masculinity is not defined by women or by men themselves, but by the nature and character of what God sets before them in the example of his son. Christ gave His life as a ransom for His bride.
Brian Stansell (aka O'Brian of the Surface World)
I was born in war.
Fighting from my first breath.
