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Reply To: Mini Prompt Wars

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#146155
K. A. Grey
@k-a-grey

Okay, so here’s my decision. I haven’t seen Cathy’s judgment yet, so this is my unbiased viewpoint.

First off, @Emily-waldorf @winter_rose, great submissions! I’m gonna give my thoughts for each of the pieces, and then announce my pick for the winner at the end.

I’ll start with Emily.  You did a great job with describing the room. “This room sucked away light faster than a cobra swallows his breakfast.“ I thought that was a really good line.  Also, olive with burnt-orange. Ugh. 🤮 I can see the sheer ugliness of the room and the “jungle-like” chaos of it.  No wonder she wants to give it a make-over!😂I like the sibling rivalry vibe going on. (Side note, I’m assuming Lila and Lena are twins?)  You captured the annoyance of the siblings with each other nicely.

(As for the 2 missing words, is it “Conrad’s voice creaked and broke” and “He swallowed his next tease and stared at me”?)


@winter_rose
  Haha, every mission needs a gluttonous, reluctant grump like Parr.  I love the dialogue in this.  I think you did well showing both sides of the argument.  Poor Parr, he’s outnumbered. The guy just wants his food!  I liked how you threw in details of them actually interacting with the environment, showing them fidgeting with the knickknacks and such.  Considering the short word limit, I think you did an excellent job showing the perspectives of each character.

I’m going to cast my vote for @winter_rose even though they were both good!


@emily-waldorf
The reason why is I know bigger arguments can evolve from little stuff like coffee filters, but I think the intensity of this argument built up just a little too fast.  (I know, I know, I gave you only 500 words.)  But for this piece, I think the argument could have been a little more lighthearted and teasing, especially since it started out as more trivial. (I hope I’m not being too harsh with my critique, please don’t hate me😣).

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