Reply To: Showing Internal Conflict

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Noah Cochran


Basically, things will remind him of things that happened in the past and that gives you an opportunity to slip in a line here or there. Not a massive paragraph at a time, just a line, a mention. In the beginning, it’s fine to leave his past a blur, just not a white nothingness.

Okay, from the example, I think I have a better grasp on what you’re saying, I’ll definitely be keeping that in mind (*proceeds to go make “tips from Rose” section in my revision document*).

Dialogue is fantastic, I love it, but what I meant was breaking it up with beats.

I didn’t realize you were referring to beats. I shall remember to add more beats.

Okay, a couple things that I wanted to talk with you about here instead of in the GD comments. First, you mentioned longswords a couple times. From what I could find, your typical longsword didn’t come about until the end of the high middle ages and beginning of the late middle ages. TTD takes place in 1223, and Tristan is the son of a minor castellan, so I didn’t think he would have a full-fledged, longsword. Instead, I thought he would have a shorter, one-handed (though it could be used two-handed) sword. Thoughts?

Secondly, you mentioned italicized thought. As a whole, I prefer non-italicized that is in past tense (usually known as Indirect Introspection), vs direct thought/introspect, that does us italicized text. However, once in a while I wanted to have introspection that used the word “I” and “you” to refer to the person having the thoughts. I can’t do that with indirect thought, so I italicized the places I wanted it. Does that make sense? Does the italicized thought still seem to be a bad idea?

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