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Reply To: Rndm brainstorming post to help each other when we got nothing. Yep.

Forums Fiction Plotting Rndm brainstorming post to help each other when we got nothing. Yep. Reply To: Rndm brainstorming post to help each other when we got nothing. Yep.

#144434
Cathy
@this-is-not-an-alien

HAHAHAHAHA sorry nope, Meirah (I know I spelled that wrong or have the wrong name completely, forgive me please) ate it all

LOL GIVE ME CAKE!!!! (you were really close, just added an extra ‘h’ in Meira)

Yeah, cuz you never do that XD

Of course 😇

Don’t ever apologize for crying!! I cry all the time just not over death for some reason. It’s good to cry and honestly it just feels good to cry ya know?

Human tears secret glands which release a sorta antidepressant hormone relaxing the stress hormones or something scientific like that…

Oh boy, I hardly ever forget anything so I habe a list. I’m really, really glad you asked! I even said “aww” out loud when I read that. People normally treat me differently when they find out about my past and it makes me feel bad and regret even opening up to begin with, so thank you for asking.

Oh yes! I really hate being treated differently if I say something; I want to be understood not pitied and I’ve always felt like talking about something that hurt you is an act of trust and deepening a relationship. (Plus mental conversation guideline 2020: “if someone willingly talks about they’re willing to talk about it.” and it’s rather insulting when people try to avoid it then, isn’t it?) I’m really glad we can just talk about it and not make a big deal of it, so thanks too!!

He died on Christmas Eve of 2014 (I was 7) so I definitely have several memories of him and I treasure them all. I guess one of my favorites is him and I used to sit on the recliner in our living room in Kansas together and we would watch tv and eat fish sticks with ketchup and mustard mixed together. It honestly sounds disgusting to me now but that’s how he used to do it so that’s how I had to do it. It’s the simplest thing but that’s the only memory that’s mine. It’s not something I’ve been told about over the years or have seen pictures of, it’s just something I remember so it’s different than the others.

Isn’t it so funny all the weird things we’ll eat when we’re little kids? My mom used to put ranch on my broccoli to get me to eat it and that just sounds so gross!
But it’s so sweet those little moments though, how it brings up a warm image and all the tiny sensations of someone else’s personality and how it just connects you, isn’t amazing the moments when you can just sit and understand and know you’re being understood. It’s like a little piece of heaven..
So yeah other people’s memories of it just aren’t same, even tho they are beautiful too, they’re different and little more faded.

Thank you so much for your advice, I loved reading that so much <3

No problem! *actually *dang y did I give that much information dang I have overshared dang that was bad* and then reading your post *whewww, ok I feel better now, not turning into a soapopera that’s a relief**

*Reaches through the screen and gives you a massive hug* Oh, honey, I’m so sorry about that friendship-breakup! It’s honestly one of the most underratedly heartbreaking things. I know you were close to her and I hope it gets better soon. It’s just awful when friendships break down like that, it always hurts horribly

*squeezes back*
Thanks, *shrugs awkwardly* I’m pretty fine now but if you could pray for her I’d like that <3 It is an underrated thing, like why does every novel heartbreak have to be romantic!?! It’s tacky and unrealistic *from someone who has never had any romantic interest in any real human*
Yeah, it does hurt with friendships <3

Otherwise, on-topic, pretty much agree with everything you said. Also want to add that grieving doesn’t only happen after the death of a loved one. It happens after a friendship dissolves, after you cut ties with someone, after moving, after leaving a church/community, etc. etc. It’s all very much grief.

Absolutely! If you can present the same emotional depth without a death, do it!

And something else I thought of that I read somewhere but I have no idea where! If you’re writing a death scene or any very dramatic scene, there’s a couple things you can do on prose level to make it hit harder. You have to be just a little colder in describing it, like one step more than you think it should be. Don’t hold back or dodge back from it. That would essentially keep you in the safe spot where your reader doesn’t really feel it hurt. And something I haven’t read about but that I tried out and found kinda interesting is to use very strong “beautiful” imagery and poetic language. It juxtapositions the shocking scene in a really weird way and it makes it feel even more out of place.

That yes! I agree, I also might add “worrying about insanely stupid things” like something you told yourself you’d do earlier that day like return change you borrowed to the person who’s dying or do some chore even tho everything’s so changed that’s not something you need to do anymore or if somebody asks you how you’re doing you’re just like logically “I think I’m sleepy.” or “I’m hungry, I need to fix something to eat.” anything that just sounds so eerily normal or just acting kinda crass because it hasn’t processed.

Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage

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