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Brian Stansell

Hello Josiah @josiah

Day 5 of Week Two hit me hard.

Talk with God about the challenge of putting yourself in a character’s mind and portraying a human soul. How have you been struggling with that recently and what would you like to learn from Him about that?

I am at a particular point in my WIP where my protagonist is falsely accused by an enemy (unknown as being an agent of darkness) with an insinuation that causes him to be suspected and isolated from a positive influence.

He feels alone. He feels fearful.  He feels that he is going to mess up what God has called him to do, and he feels inadequate in his own ability to be able to hear God clearly enough to make a decision in faith.

A past failure led to several deaths among his traveling companions and he is terrified that he will make a misstep and endanger those in his present company.  However, he knows God has called him to a position of leadership, and those present who do not yet trust him are in danger if they do not follow where he is called to lead them.  It is a crisis of leadership that feels so real to me that I cannot shake the feelings of fear that he experiences in this fictional story.  I find myself so identifying with this character that I dream myself into the story at night and wake up panicked and hurt by the false accusations that arise in the story.  I know as a Christian, a lie is only given power when it is believed to be true, but I feel that to go to my own “spiritual happy place” would be to abandon the authenticity of the connection I am experiencing with writing this character.

I have tried taking a break from writing the scenes in the sequence that I know is necessary, but that only delays the inevitable.  Please pray for me as I grieve with this character and walk empathetically with him through it.

It has been a rough year for me with the death of my mom.

Adding this “fictional” connection to the mix because of how the inner mechanisms of my mind works are tough as a writer, even though I know God has called me to this place and given me this kind of expression.

Being in dark moments, whether immersed in the co-creation of a fictional world or living in the daylight world God independently created does make one yearn even more for those places and harbors of light.

Prayer truly is a place of connection with The Almighty.  Study of His Word is a rod and staff to keep me as I walk.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. [Psalm 23:4 NIV]

Brian Stansell (aka O'Brian of the Surface World)
I was born in war.
Fighting from my first breath.

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