When I was two years old my left eye was injured. We were attending a sunrise Easter service and some of the youth group kids wanted to take me hiking with them in the hills. One kid was carrying me on their shoulders and pushed a mesquite tree branch back to go under and past the tree. The limb came loose, hit me in the face, but I didn’t cry so the kids thought I was fine. I only rubbed my face and avoided the bright lights. A day later my parents realized something was wrong. A mesquite tree thorn had pierced my cornea and damaged a small part of it. I had a corneal transplant later that year and a rotation that moved the fine white scar on my iris into the blind spot peripheral. Because it was sensitive to light they put an eye patch over it, for a while, not knowing at the time that the human eye has amazing recuperative properties. (Something later learned in the field of optometry.) The scar tissue, which would have gone away, became permanent, but it barely visible now. I can see out of it just not very good, and it distorts my depth perception a little and reduces my peripheral field of vision. I played football, basketball, volleyball, and ran track all in High School but never excelled in them, because my depth perception affected my coordination. I did get an Atari game system growing up (how old is that?!) which did help me with hand-eye coordination, so I enjoyed those “therapy sessions”.
Oh yes! I had to wear a patch too, only over my good eye in an attempt to “wake” my bad one. Apparently my eyes just never did align as I was growing up and my brain decided to turn off my “inferior” eye to avoid dealing with it (honestly that sounds like a bad decision I would make XD). I was vaguely aware of it for a while but my good eye worked just fine and I didn’t think I was missing on much and I knew my parents couldn’t really afford going to the doctor and I didn’t figure it was curable anyway so I didn’t say anything (not one of my better calls…).
But then I learned partial blindness could cause/increase headaches I did get a lot of those and then my parents got “better” insurance and it finally occurred to me that might be something they’d want to be aware of regardless my…opinion…there (man that was a bad idea…I’m beginning to understand why no one’s let me forget it…). Turned out I had zero depth perception and was very blind in my left eye (I could read one row under the “big E”). For a while I got just glasses that made me dizzy and felt heavy and made everything look a little off-kilter.
Actually for the first couple weeks it was kinda fun; nobody teased me about my lack of coordination or me constantly running into to stuff and knocking over things. Instead everybody just kinda cooed over me and excused my clumsiness and that was neat. Until no one trusted me to learn to drive or own a gun and anything they said no to if I asked why; “you didn’t say anything about your eye until now.” (Yeah…that was a dumb move XD)
After the glasses was the patch and through that I had to spend time playing games while wearing 3D glasses. That was a perk. The idea with that was one lens one blue and the other was red and all the games were in blue and red so the blue lens couldn’t see the blue colors and the red could see red so my eyes had to work together if I were to indulge successfully in my highly competitive streak.
I never got better vision in that eye but I have full depth perception now, I’ll never get over how sharp and dimensional everything looks now, it’s incredible!
Oh we played an Atari too when we were really little!! My favorite game was Frogger, for some reason we all thought the splat was hysterical, and my siblings and I would hoot and laugh as one of us tried to get that frog across the road. We always died whenever the frog…died XD. I think we only ever made it across twice.
I had braces too I got out of them just a little before my brother did and the orthodontists always let me pick a piece of candy after each visit, all the nurses there wore a ton of makeup and I always wondered why.
Your dad must’ve been a pretty amazing guy to respond like that. I can’t imagine a lot of parents who would be able to keep their cool in a situation like that and have that kind of compassion. As a homeschooled kid, I’ve never had to go through the “joys” of public school but I haven’t met a person yet from public school who wasn’t messed up by it in some way at least. I’ve never understood why kids are so cutthroat at most schools…
I probably wasn’t so much “the smart one” in Youth Group and Bible studies as “the one who constantly blurted out answers until Father Nick said someone other than me should answer his next questions”. Mostly I was just super excited to be around kids close to my age and kinda nervous which made me twice as energetic. I’d get to talk to the adults a lot growing up and they’d actually listen and say I “sounded very intelligent” in discussions and that’d make my parents proud. I guess I got so very caught up in “making my parents proud” I didn’t pursue my own interests because I had to study to do the things they were interested in. And I certainly carried on that people-pleasing to everybody thinking that was what made a “good girl”
But God came to free not confine us like you said. And it’s so much better if we just live the way God made us to; simply and lovingly.
IKR! Nobody cares about small talk, not me the extravert not Joe the serial killer, not Max the waiter, not Tim the three-year-old! (…that would be an interesting set of characters for a shortstory XD).
I never do anything interesting–my week is always fine and I’m sure yours was too. Even if it wasn’t, you’re still going to say it was.
LOL THAT IS SO TRUE I CAN NEVER GET PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY ANSWER THAT HONESTLY!
But I have learned a couple things about conversationalism XD;
–you can breach absolutely any social convention and people will still talk to you if you’re sincere (ugh don’t ask…)
–you can always tell who’s either dissociating or chronically depressed by how they answer “what do you like to do in your free time”; if they actually answer you, then you’ve started a conversation which is usually fairly interesting, if they don’t then they’re scared to admit their hobbies because if gives bullies ammo or they really don’t know how to respond because they’ve numbed out or are very anxious.
–if normal questions don’t start a conversation you can ask things like “what’s one word to describe your best self and one word to describe how you see yourself now? If you had a superpower what would it be? What color would best describe you? Have you done Myers Briggs and what’s your personality type (it is so much fun to guess someone’s personality type beforehand XD)? If you could change one thing in the world what would it be?”
–everyone’s thinking it, just nobody says it (me to me; except you you snook, you rock! The boat. Into a glacier…)
–a good way to gauge how much to people want to hear is by how much you’re interested in hearing from them in each situation; if you want people to admit hobbies/talk more if you offer it first they’ll cue into it more often than not.
–in a conversation you’re listening to but haven’t entered and want to, make eyecontact with the speaker and smile. If you do this for long enough somebody might invite you. If not;
–you can generally ask any question for anything; as long as they know they’re not obliged to say yes which does means you have to gauge how much people-pleaser they are so you know if you need to state upfront ‘you don’t have to answer’ even when you wouldn’t think that a normally necessary statement. The way to gauge that is if you hold a conversation for a couple minutes and the other person remains silent rather than disagree on anything you say you’ll probably want to state they don’t have to answer question/do favor.
But really you wouldn’t believe how often people say yes to silly requests or become really excited that you asked questions. Questions are more flattering than flattery in most cases so don’t feel like you can’t ask questions people love being asked questions XD.
–really do anything in your comfort zone, if someone rejects you for it they was gonna reject you anyway their loss. I have noticed people do assume quiet introverts in the back are “smug”
or “rude” and that’s just not fair! But one thing you could try is I know if I make eyecontact with anybody I automatically adopt them so if you make eyecontact and smile people assume you’re just shy and tend to be much more understanding XD. But then, I do know a lot of people have trouble making eyecontact so that might be hard, but you can ask people what their favorite books are to jump into less smalltalk conversation. Any way to jump into something more interesting than the weather people will welcome <3
–if people judge you you can judge them for judging you before they even know you (lol jk, serious don’t XD)
If any of that was…actually…helpful…XD. But being comfortable with yourself automatically makes people more comfortable with you so that too! <3
Have any of you taken this personality quiz? Just curious what you might consider yourself to be?
I’m an ENFP, scoring as an INFJ when supremely depressed and an ENFJ when overcompensating. I thought you’d be one of those two personality types, both my older siblings are INTJs, INTJs are very objective but their “intuitive” N is creative and open to unique and original ideas.
Oh I love the Chosen series!
Ahh INFPs are so sweet and are such strong dreamers with strong moral compasses (very scary when finally decide to be firm about something XD). My two cousins are INFPs!
Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage