Hiya again! Don’t worry you’re fine, we all have hectic weeks at some point, so you don’t need to apologise.
Thank you so much for your feedback, I’m very grateful for it! I’m glad you like it! And no don’t worry you’re not too harsh at all, it’s perfect thanks! You made me realise I probably should have given a bit more context into the scene, as this actually takes place in the middle of the prologue. I should have explained myself better haha but that’s just me unfortunately, just so very disorganised. I didn’t post the whole chapter because it wasn’t ready yet, but I will do that once its finished.
But yeah I get what you mean, the fantasy and modern elements are jarring, because I didn’t give enough context. I’ll make sure my next post is a lot more concise when it comes to setting and explanations haha. I’ll post the whole section in a little while, starting from the real beginning and ending where I first left off. There’s still a lot to work on lol, but hopefully its going to be better. Anyways, your advice was just great thank you so much!
Also any commentary on the use of vocabulary and descriptions overall? I always find that that’s my biggest problem when it comes to writing. I always end up relying on Thesaurus because I often find that I end up using the same words over and over again. There is also a fight in the prologue which I will be posting when it’s ready. I would love some feedback for that, because I am AWFUL at writing fights. I never know what to say lol.