fb

Reply To: Character description critiques/game

Forums Fiction Characters Character description critiques/game Reply To: Character description critiques/game

#133566
Joelle Stone
@joelle-stone

@rose-colored-fancy,

Hey, thx for tagging me! This looks like fun… *hunts around in manuscript for a good description* *realizes all my descriptions are pretty bad* *decides critique would be nice*

Here’s the descriptions of Jistis and Jenis, two side characters from my first book. Jenis becomes a main character in the second.

Both were male, seeming to be no older than himself [the POV character, a late teenager]. The larger of the two shouldered a nearly empty pack. His left hand rested on the hilt of a sword on his left hip, and a sheathed dagger hung on his right. Unkempt brown hair dangled over his right eye in a way that obviously irritated him.

The loner pushed aside two leaves with his fingers to get a closer look at the other one. He appeared younger and more worn, at least a head shorter than his companion, and couldn’t be older than fifteen.  A dusting of freckles adorned his squat nose, and his hazel-green eyes watched the ground pass by underneath his booted feet. He carried a small pack and a sack of something – sling pebbles most likely, judging from the sling dangling from his hand.

"Lacho calad! Drego morn!"

Story Embers

Pin It on Pinterest