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#126745
Rose
@rose-colored-fancy

@this-is-not-an-alien

Your WIP sounds good!

Essentially the story addresses trauma and healing from such and it explores how a person can be very human and identifiable and still be a villain and the differences and similarities between villains, antiheroes and victims and how detrimental stereotyping and gender-expectations can be.

I love that! That sounds like such a good theme! I love it when villains have dimension and actually feel human, more than just “bad! Very bad! The Worst!” Gray characters are so fascinating in general!

I really like the theme of how people should be seen as individuals, not stereotypes.

I’m actually planning a WIP that tackles a similar theme. I don’t have it worked out yet, but basically, the main character is an immigrant after her country went through a crisis of some sort, so a lot of people have immigrated and there’s distrust against them because people think they’re inferior, untrustworthy, taking their jobs, etc.  Like what happened when Irish and east-European people immigrated to America.

So basically, my main character has to hide that she’s an immigrant if she wants to get work, so she learns that it’s something to be ashamed of and she rejects her heritage.

I think it could be interesting to write about 😉 Any feedback?

Okay, that’s awesome! I’ll send you an email pretty soon, just so you have mine too 😉

Thank you so much for the feedback! I don’t know if it’s just that you’re super good at figuring out stuff like that, but you got everything exactly as I intended it!

Both of the characters are very traumatized by their father’s death; Liorah responses by becoming more rebellious and Gavril responses by becoming more conformist and both have unrealistic expectations on how they should or shouldn’t mold themselves so it’d be really interesting seeing how they grow through that. They just need to learn to be comfortable in their own skins and that’ll be quite a character-driven plot.

Fun fact! This is definitely a second-draft development. Their father was mentioned once in the first draft, and that was only in passing. I do think it makes a lot more sense because it explains their behavior a lot more.

And also, it’s only natural for them to react to it, I mean: There was a massive war when Liorah was six and Gavril was eleven, and then their father died two years later.

Honestly, you don’t forget about something like that quickly. I kind of love how Liorah and Gavril reacted to it in exact opposite ways, it makes it really interesting.

And Ferran he’s like a new favorite character the long-suffering mediator between the two lol.

I’ve seldom read something more accurate XD Sahar and Acyn are more like “Ooh, let’s get popcorn, this is getting interesting!” (Trust me, that’s exactly what they do. I’m 99% sure they bet on who’s going to apologize first.) Gav and Liorah actually don’t argue that much, but Ferran is just the natural mediator.

I find it beyond hilarious how everyone just instantly goes like “This one. This one is my favorite.” as soon as Ferran appears. It’s happened so freakishly often that’s it’s kind of funny. Also how people like Liorah a lot more than Gavril? I mean, Liorah dedicates most of her time to making stupid decisions and picking fights, and Gavril just does everything right, but everyone (including myself) prefers Liorah XD I guess she’s just more interesting XD

I just about died lol!

LOL, I’m glad you liked it! Ferran is kind of funny, but only in narration. Honestly, he’s too shy. XD And yes, he has plenty of issues. You’ll see…

Ok, thanks! Probably more ‘big picture’ critique although I’ll probably need some line editing too (that one’s the ‘check for sentence syntax and grammatical errors’ right?).

Okay, awesome! That’s what I need on my manuscript too, I just want it to seem reasonably coherent XD

Just wanted to ask, in what format is your story? You’ve described it as a comic several times. Is it in a comic format already, or is it still a script, or are you writing it as a novel?

Oh, I never actually asked, but what genre is Beyond all Borders? Is it sci-fi, or contemporary, or neither?

"Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark." The Tale of Despereaux

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