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#126737
Cathy
@this-is-not-an-alien

I actually love how they break the stereotypes without falling into new ones. *cough* StrOnG fEmaLe CharActEr *cough*. Honestly, they’re awesome! And I’m so happy they’ve helped you, I think that’s one of the best parts of writing.

Lol the “strong female characters” just really grate when that’s all they’re there for. Thanks!

You’re spot on, as in, freakishly accurate. XD It’s that obvious? I didn’t do it that way on purpose, but it definitely drifted that way XD I’ve always loved really reckless, independent, assertive characters, and Liorah became more and more that way the more I was writing.

Well idk if it’s “that obvious” or just my “freakishly almost scary accurate emotion thing” (loosely quote big sister). But reckless, independent, assertive characters are really fun and it’s great reading about Liorah.

That’s awesome! Congratulations on getting that far! What’s that WIP about? And it’s some comfort that first drafts are always messy. I’ve found that I have the ‘perfection or nothing’ mindset in the second draft, and I have to consciously turn it off and write a bunch of garbage so I can get back into it. I actually find the ‘garbage drafting’ process pretty fun and annoying at the same time. I love when I know what the scene’s supposed to look like and I can just get it down, but I hate it when I have no clue (this is most of the time XD)

Oh yea first drafts and second and twentieth drafts are messy 😛 . I definitely like knowing at least roughly what the scene’s supposed to look like and I hate the no clue thing then I just vomit whatever dumb thing has nothing to do with the plot, but a lotta the time it’s helpful.
My WIP, it’s kinda a level up from Beyond All Borders, I started when I was thirteen and struggling with suicidal thoughts so it addresses a lot of different aspects of that. It’s a fantasy thriller about this fugitive prince with C-PTSD (Complex-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and he has really strong powers in a world where everybody’s prejudiced against people born with powers because they used to protect and guide nations until the power got to their heads and they tried to conquer world but the people rose up killing all “gifteds” so now there’s a lot of inter–racial tension between the groups and some people even think people born with special abilities are extinct.

Anyway there’s a lot of political and guild in-fight during a war between the two axis powers of the world and the story really explores the heads of several villains and antiheroes. It lightly touches on queer-culture especially as connected to abuse particularly psychological abuse and societal pressures. Essentially the story addresses trauma and healing from such and it explores how a person can be very human and identifiable and still be a villain and the differences and similarities between villains, antiheroes and victims and how detrimental stereotyping and gender-expectations can be I mean just imagine people trying to make Ehud more “guyish” or label him as something, it would destroy him.
Anyway…I better stop here before I blabber so much about the plot I vomit spoilers and plots twists XD.

If you’d like and have time, that would actually be absolutely awesome I want to finish rewriting it, but then I do need some critique. That might take a few months yet… though… I don’t like rewriting XD

Yea rewriting be…so…fuuun *hear my best sarcastic voice*. Well, if ya wanna send it via email for critique I’m fantasywriter2018@outlook.com (and that’s my–as Mom calls it–“crap email” so I can subscribe to all my hobbies and research stuff…)

That sounds like an awesome idea! You’ll get personality established from the start, and then you can work on the plot. I think it could work, especially since your characters are so good!

Thanks! I hope it renders on page well XD

LOL, yeah, that’s how I got over it too. It was just kinda “This idea is so cool but it means I have to draw Acyn…” Then I just sorta kicked myself and did it. It’s actually getting easier now! And generally, I think girls are more fun to draw XD To me, at least. I’m always scared my guy characters look like girls XD References are lifesavers there!

References are definitely lifesavers yes! And girls are more fun to draw usually.

For Ehud, the first thing that got my attention was how he was always happy. Like, when I first started the castle, it was kinda chaos, with the beasts and all, but Ehud was happy, and he seemed to be having fun (mostly). And he was talking, like a lot. (I’ll never forget that comment about how ‘vampires can’t survive in Italy XD That was hilarious) He has this constant friendly innocence, and it especially shows in a situation that would normally freak out other characters. He does have realistic emotions, but I love how nothing really gets him down. He may get sad and depressed sometimes, but it doesn’t last. I really love that about him, and it really stands out. For Rosy, I loved how she seemed really harsh, but she’s so selfless and actually cares for people. Also, she has every reason to be cold and detached, but she’s trying to overcome it and genuinely cares about everyone else, even if she pushes it away. And how she’s constantly protecting Ehud, that’s beyond adorable. If you want to show Rosy at her best, you do need to show her from her POV, or from Ehud’s, since he always sees the best in people. That’s actually a really good question, and I’ve gotten stuck on it some too. What did you notice about Liorah, Gavril, and Ferran first?

Lol, (neither would vampires survive my Italian grandparents :P).
Thank you for telling me all that, I’m glad those elements of their characters really stand out. I’ll make sure to make them obvious in the actual comic. Thanks again!
Now, lemmie see. For Liorah, I remember the first thing that made me like her was when she just appeared and said she decided she wasn’t going to die lol. I liked how combative she was with people (like Kiark) who she found arrogant, I liked that she didn’t hide her dislike but she still didn’t want him to die when they were attacked by the monsters. I liked how she argued a lot but she was a great mom-friend to all the sweet characters like Riure and Ehud, like when she comforted Ehud after his nightmare that made me really like her. She could be really kind in a not-exactly-nice way and that made it all the more authentic to me and I feel like I like her more than Gavril although seeing him trying to be the “perfect brother” made for very interesting conflict and the flashback when he was trying to protect her was the moment I began to warm up to him.
Seeing how frustrated he was with her rebellious nature really highlighted how uptight he is and how heavily he pressures himself to be everything he’s expected to be. He’ll probably have to learn to unlearn some of that to handle stress more effectively. Seeing him protective of Liorah and a little awkward when talking to Riure about praying really helped me fall in love with his character (but Liorah’s still the best).
Both of the characters are very traumatized by their father’s death; Liorah responses by becoming more rebellious and Gavril responses by becoming more conformist and both have unrealistic expectations on how they should or shouldn’t mold themselves so it’d be really interesting seeing how they grow through that. They just need to learn to be comfortable in their own skins and that’ll be quite a character-driven plot.
And Ferran he’s like a new favorite character the long-suffering mediator between the two lol. I love especially “She looked beyond furious, which probably meant she was mildly inconvenienced. Gav looked mildly inconvenienced, which meant he was probably in a situation when he should have been beyond furious” and “beyond furious was an understatement. That meant she was alright. Relief washed over me” and “I raised one eyebrow, sufficiently clarifying my opinion of the entire situation.” I just about died lol!
He’s pretty no-nonsense from what I gather telling Gav to stop acting like a ten-year-old. But he’s not rebellious like Liorah this is just how he works and he loves them both which makes him “above” their arguments. He hasn’t been there very long so he has plenty of potential internal-conflicts like establishing his worth to other people apart from “friend of the royal family” or ogles of other novel factors that idk yet. But he strikes me as much more mature and well-balanced than Liorah and Gavril so I can’t wait to get to know him better and I already really like him!

Yesyesyes! I can’t wait to read it! I’ll check with my parents about a safe way to give you my email address. I actually really enjoy critiquing other people’s writing. Do you want me to do more ‘big picture’ critique, rather than line editing?

Ok, thanks! Probably more ‘big picture’ critique although I’ll probably need some line editing too (that one’s the ‘check for sentence syntax and grammatical errors’ right?).

Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage

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