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#125768
Lona
@lonathecat

And I’m back again!

I really enjoyed your chapter and introduction! E.B.B., even just from his little note at the beginning, seems like such a loveable character and makes me want to read more of his story.

I applaud you on your characters’ speech. Your characters’ phrases, word choice, and addition and/or absence of syllables definitely plays a big part in giving the book its setting.

Which, following up to that, I noticed that the girl didn’t have the same dialect as the Bills. Which makes me think she is either from there, but higher class than the Bills, or a foreigner. Was that what you were going for?

And lastly, just a random thing I noticed, you used “utterly ___ful” (like forgetful, regretful) a couple times, which is something I’ve never seen before, at least that I can remember. It’s unique and I like it. 🙂

 

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